Unlike the rest of you sorry lot, I can make perfectly sinusoidal lines of #mustard on my #hotdogs. I just choose not to, so nobody feels sad.
Tag Archives: joke
Current Political Discourse
A: “Stop setting the house on fire!”B: “What? I’m not, and you don’t have any proof.”A: “The matches are in your hand!”B: “It’s not illegal to have matches.”A: “No, it’s not, but you’re setting the fucking house on fire!”B: “Sir, I’m gonna have to ask you to calm down.”
Divided Lanes (PPP)
The Conservative says, “We should not have to pay the medical bills of cyclists who carelessly get injured by cars on the road. If they didn’t want to get hurt, they should’ve been in a car.” The Liberal says, “Fine. We’ll mandate helmets, headlights, taillights, high-viz vests, and register all bicycles against theft. Nobody should …
Glasnost
Ok, it’s confession time. For the past thirty years, I’ve secretly been a KGB Operative (Keep Grabbing Butts). I get my orders via radio communication. I’ve been working to disrupt the social order and keep everybody guessing. I didn’t want to tell you, but this has been going on so long, and I want out …
The Truth Is Out There
Last night’s foggy drive made me worry that a cryptid would attack out of nowhere and snatch me from my car, and that Mulder and Scully would have to investigate which sequence of mundane events occurred to explain what really happened. MULDER: His browser history shows he’s made 253 recent visits to Fortean Times, and the …