What Phaysis Is Not

Thanks to the breathtaking wonder of search engines and their sublime utility in finding things, people on random occasion will find this site and get the mistaken idea that I am who they are looking for. Sometimes, they’ll even write to say “Hello” and share intimate secrets with me, the wrong guy. Although the confusion is likely (I am as average as it gets, you see), the mistake is ultimately theirs to bear. So, let us make no more mistakes.

To help you with determining if I and this site are what you’re looking for, here’s a short list of what Phaysis.com IS NOT:

  1. If you’re looking for a Canadian company that makes IP-based remote security surveillance systems, Phaysis.com is not what you’re searching for. What you want is the company Phasys, at phasys.com, which apparently has gone out of business. Tough shakes. Maybe their customers will stop sending me misdirected email discussing their camping trips. Maybe their patent lawyer will stop sending me PDFs of prior art.
  2. If you can’t get enough of that contemporary christian (…and publicly homosexual) pop singer Shawn Thomas, Phaysis.com is not what you’re searching for. I assume most of his accolytes have the sense to pick up on the rampant profanity, antireligious overtones, and general pissiness sprinkled all over this site. Sadly however, I have been proven wrong. Such a pity. So let thy “rod” and thy “staff” lead thee over to shawnthomasonline.com.
  3. If you’re looking for the services of a noted author and historian, you should know that Phaysis.com is not what you’re searching for. Although I write alot about my past, I am neither a noted author nor a historian. You should also know that “Samuel P. Hays is professor emeritus of history, formerly at the University of Pittsburgh and currently living in Boulder, Colorado.” John P Hays, Nathan P. Hays, Scott P. Hays, and George P. Hays, take note.
  4. If you’ve ever visited the Dhaka Zoo in scenic Bangladesh and became a new fan of the pit-tailed monkey they just purchased (genus Phaysis Langun) and thought you’d come here for more info, Phaysis.com is not what you’re searching for. Although I feel strongly about embracing my primate heritage, I’ll go ape if you monkey around with my time.
  5. If you fancy yourself a post-graduate (read: armchair) philosopher, etymologist, historian, or Greek classics afficionado and you find yourself looking for more info about the Homerian concept of physis, Phaysis.com is not what you’re searching for. The term, which defined by Homer means “the natural way of growth without external influence”, sounds like it could be aptly applied to this site, but you’d be wrong, because phaysis, all other definitions aside, also means “the natural way of decay without internal influence”. The confusion is natural. Try lying down until the feeling passes.

I do hope this handy guide will help you in your searches. May your newfound knowledge light the way. Thanks for visiting Phaysis. If you feel this message is in error, please hang up and try again. Tip your waitress.