As I predicted and/or intended, I failed Deutsch IV. It was inevitable. I previously swore to myself that I would at least finish the semester so I didn’t get the figurative DNF (Did Not Finish, racing term). Well, I stopped running in the last chapter. Burned out. I was so far behind on my homework, papers, discussions, and readings, that I stopped bothering. Just quit going to class. Didn’t do the chapter test, the final interview, or any of the projects.
I stopped running. Eventually the lag wagon picked me up and brought me to the finish line where I crossed reluctantly to get my participation ribbon.
After grades were delivered, I wrote a note to the Professor to explain to her what happened and where I went. She understood, and encouraged me to continue learning. I might.
But I need a break. I’ve been studying German as a hobby for roughly 3 years (including my stupid daliance with Duolingo). I’m tired from the loss of all that downtime spent on study. Just stop. I’ve already forgotten so much because of the embarrassment of not keeping up. It’s kinda bad.
I hope I can look past that and figure out what it was about learning that inspired me. The challenge? The struggle? The new avenues of society to explore? The chance to travel, to be somewhere else and talk with the locals? To retire in Deutschland?
For now, I’ll have to be comfortable with tourist-level competence. For anything deeper, I’d have to become a resident.
I should’ve taken Spanish.
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