Clement

I hate dream posts, so here goes.

Dreamed a mall was putting on a quiz show with multiple heats. Big prizes, big pool of contestants. Competition gets hot. But then the feds come in and announce they’re upping the ante. Losers get investigated and put on the firing line if found guilty of anything. Lots of people drop out except for those willing to wager. Final round, I narrowly win. Feds detain 2nd and 3rd place winners. My prize options are: 1) a lot of money 2) a lot of prestige 3) clemency for all contestants. My only moral option is clemency. I win, but lose; everybody wins, but loses. They didn’t win freedom; they got to keep it. Remember who’s taking what.

Volume Off

Thinking about turning off comments on this blog and making it read-only. I recently read a philosophy on the subject and it has given me some thoughts.

What I picked up is that this site should be my notebook where I post my thoughts. But by having comments enabled, it becomes our notebook where we post our thoughts. I had hopes that having a blog would enable community with my people, but now that nobody goes to websites, that community is on platforms.

Phaysis has been my domain for over a quarter of a century, and the bulk of that time it has been powered by some CMS that supports comments. Yet in that period I’ve collected less than 200 human-derived comments directly on the blog feed. A portion of those are my replies. The remaining 10,000+ are robots.

The recent addition of Fediverse connectivity has netted me more comments and reactions, which is fine I guess. But still it becomes our blog. How do I publish to Fedi without allowing reactions? Which activities do I disable? Comments? Reacts? Retoots? Favorites? The Fediverse is designed for two-way communications, but this change turns Phaysis into a one-way broadcast.

Fedi could look like me subtooting a link to an entry and then inviting commentary on that subtoot. If someone else has something to say outside of my subtoot, then they can subtoot and talk there; perhaps that would force some kind of back-and-forth? I dunno.

Turning it off should be so easy that I can turn it back on if I don’t like it. Trial period. But first I need to find those switches.

This is my blog. There are many like it, but this one is mine.

Ephemeral Flows the Stream

As of yesterday, my apartment complex is under new ownership. We got the news on the day of transition from the prior property manager. The new owners are a corporation instead of a private owner, so there’s now a profit motive. Rent can only go up from here.

The transition gives me existential unease about my current situation in life. Change outside of my control leaves me uneasy, yeah. But I also feel like renting is no more uncertain than home ownership. You’re not safe forever in a house when you have dues and upkeep to pay. Anybody can lose a deed as easily as they can lose a lease.

Life is precarious, always, despite our childhood memories of safety and contentment under the shelter of our family. Safety is less a place and more a path we must walk, a process, a side-effect of our ability to meet demands and get us through one month at a time with some sort of dignity and control.

It’s impossible to be content forever. Contentment and safety aren’t a garden enshrouded in stone walls; that’s a cemetary. Happily-ever-after means you continue to make good choices as you move through the world.

I hope I’ll be content with these new managers. I hope you can maintain your own idea of contentment, too.

Ghosts

Was in the shower, thinking about life and my current state in it. Remembered a series of arguments with a family member. Unsurprisingly, I started audibly talking back, as if I would finally win. As if I could explain myself better and we’d reach a consensus. L’esprit de l’escalier stuff.

Y’all. Now I’m like that guy on the bus, the one shouting obscenities and shrieking in argument at someone only they can see.

I think we’re all fighting ghosts, trying to win. Most of us are able to know when to fight and when to think in silence. But some can’t. Those people break in uncomfortable ways and we look away and ignore. We shun them. Then they become ghosts.

I struggle to maintain charity, but I know it could happen to any of us. I must be compassionate.

Trying WireGuard

Thanks to previous jobs, I’ve had an OpenVPN server running at my house for the past decade. It gives me access to my home network while I’m out in the world, and allows me to securely proxy my web traffic over insecure WiFi so it bounces to the Internet from my house. It’s fast enough, but there’s that yearly churn of generating new certificates for all my devices and the occasional server cert maintenance. Kind of a hassle.

I’ve recently become aware of WireGuard, another VPN protocol, that offers some apparent advantages over OpenVPN like multi-threading (it doesn’t use openssl which is famously single-threaded), simpler config files, and no need to regenerate openssl certificates when they expire. The cryptography is faster. Many of the commercial/free VPN services also use WireGuard under the hood. It’s functionally serverless, but can be configured to run as one.

I tried walking through the WireGuard Quick Start Guide and, my friends, this page quickly confused me. It’s half whitepaper, half video demo of how to set up a tunnel. Who puts up a GIF of a screenshare where all of the useful text commands you’d need to create your own tunnel are not copy-pasteable? A cruel bastard, that’s who.

Thankfully there’s a library of sites that are more helpful than the tool vendor. Thanks to Elliot Cooper for his article on Bash-Prompt. This page helped me figure it out.

What confused me was the distinction between the wg command line app and wg-quick, the other command line app. wg does the heavy lifting in the kernel, but its commands and configs are fed in on the command line, not a config file. I was trying to feed the config file to wg and failing because it doesn’t understand it. Annoying. wg-quick takes a config file and uses the options there to tell wg what to do. It also handles creating virtual interfaces, adding routes, and controlling some firewall rules. Stuff you’d expect the main binary to handle, not a packaged script.

Equally confusing is that wg doesn’t provide its own systemd server daemon. No, that’d be too sensible. For that, you have to use, once again, wg-quick, which does provide a daemon service. But you’d have to install and enable the service. Whack.

Anyway, now that I’ve learned how to run the server and hammer out configs for each client, my fleet of devices can now use WireGuard. I don’t notice any speed improvements, because my home’s cable modem uplink is still limited, but I feel like my devices are burning less battery. That’s a plus.

I’ll continue running both VPN servers until I get bored of one of them. It’s nice to have options.