The messed-up dreams continue. This morning I was shocked awake again, this time just 10 minutes before my alarms were set to go off. Dreamed I was involved in a breakup, maybe mine, maybe someone else’s. In an effort to seek comfort, I grabbed a carload of friends and we went riding around. Found ourselves …
Continue reading “Gentle Is the Noise, Painful Is the Chaos”
The cravings continue, but the lung crud doesn’t. I’m already starting to breathe a good deal better. I am so happy about that. The fact that my lungs are feeling good makes them crave the tightening ache of tobacco smoke again, and that’s what’s making the quitting that much harder. So far, outside of a …
Today has totally sucked. I’m growing really, really tired of the chest tightness. Fucking sucks. Sometimes it gets to be too much and I start to have a panic attack. Have to force myself to breathe and come down off of it. Discovered that the Xanax I’m taking for acute panic attacks is bad, bad, …
Yesterday wasn’t too bad. At work I was quite physically active, and my lungs were keeping up with me. The crud has been dissappating, and for that I am very happy. Still having coughs in the mornings, but that’s to be expected after a night’s sleep. Still having bronchial spasms and chest tightness; sometimes it …
One thing I will admit is that I’m seriously craving a smoke lately. Something tells me I’m probably dealing with secondary physical withdrawals. Shit. Actually, right now I’m dealing with a tight chest, again. This has been an ongoing thing, every damned day for the past month or longer. Getting tired of it. Seriously. Tonight, …
