F.U.M.

In Neal Stephenson’s epic sci-fi novel “Cryptonomicon”, we read of a character in one of the modern timelines who is a techie and a new business owner. This guy has a running gag where he has an app he wrote that sits in his PC’s toolbar that checks his bank accounts and his investments and calculates how long it’ll take until he makes “Fuck You Money”. It’s a dollar amount at which he’ll feel free enough that, if someone were to tell him no or otherwise crimp his style, he could say, “fuck you” and continue on with his life without damage. He keeps checking it throughout the story.

That’s a great running gag.

But now we’ve seen exactly what “Fuck You Money” looks and acts like. It’s ugly, cruel, and dangerous. Absolutely unhinged. Inhuman.

The joke’s not funny anymore.

Oops! All Side Quests!

Work has me exhausted; I can’t work fast enough to finish one project before two tasks, three manager questions, and four support requests come in. So much context switching, and I lose time and energy. So much energy. The stack keeps deepening.

People ask me, “Hey Shawn, why don’t you play games to unwind?”

“Well,” I explain, “my end goal is to get through the Golden Gate, but I need the red key, but only the old sage knows where to find the red key, but he’s hard of hearing and needs a unicorn horn to hear through, but only the villagers know where the unicorn is, but I have to find the unicorn in the forest, but then I have to fight the unicorn and win, but then…”

No. Gaming is exactly like work. Absolutely no.

Denke immer nie

Looking forward to the end of this semester of German II. I’m burned out. Given my struggles this semester, I’ll never achieve competence level A2. German I and II are considered A1, and I’m a middling student at it. Immigration wants higher than A2, so there goes that. At this point, I can’t even remember words or how to speak it. There are so many tiny little pieces and rules and it has blown out past a point where I can hold the pieces together in my head straight enough to form a sentence.

I learned how to speak English over a decade of my childhood, picking up pieces along the way, incorporating them into what was already automatic. But learning a new language in my 50’s is terrible. I’m having to take my own understanding of language apart, to pull the wires up from the works and start labeling the parts of speech. It’s blowing it all out as I unpack it, and even my grasp on English is slipping. I just don’t want to talk anymore.

I need a rest.

Deshaded

Apparently 10 days was the time set on my Mastodon shadow ban. I was thinking either 1 day (after apology and mod review), 3 days, or 7 days. But when the 7th day passed and I still had a limitation on my account, my next guess was 10, and I was right. The ban lifted on Wednesday.

The mastodon.coffee mods never responded to my appeal, and to be honest I had no hope that they ever would. Of the 5 mod accounts listed, 1 is gone and 3 haven’t posted since 2022/2023, which makes me wonder if they’re just sock-puppet accounts. The 5th mod is the owner. So they apparently don’t care about dot coffee or for any of the 1364 other users on the site.

I did create an account on mas.to just to see how the other half lives. It surprised me that mas.to has significantly more users, is faster, and has global search enabled for those who opt in, something not available at all on dot coffee. I like that feature; I’ve wanted that feature for a long time, if only to search my own back posts.

It’s tempting to jump to mas.to, but I really do like the dot coffee domain name in my alias.

What gets to me is that Mastodon is billed as the social platform with low switching costs, so you’re never locked in and can move your account to wherever. But that’s incorrect. What doesn’t carry with you is your post and media history. You can export your filters, follows, block lists, and other stuff, and import that on the next site (you have to manually do all of this), but there is absolutely no option to move the 8800 posts I’ve made since 2022. All I can do is export them and keep the dump file. That bothers me, and it should bother anybody whose use case and expectations don’t fit the top-down ethics of the Fediverse builders.

At some point I’ll migrate, but for now, I’ll let this black eye heal and think twice before donating again.

Extra

My favorite is when I need connection, because everything inside is so heavy, so I hang out with the guys, and there’s just no room for me anywhere in the conversation. I can’t keep up. It’s the best. Tune out and scroll my phone until I leave. I’m tired. Just the best.