Shade

I have never been shadow banned. But here I am. Not on Facebook or Instagram or Tumblr or Twitter. On Mastodon. Of all the places that are safe. Mastodon.

I thought I was an ally. I feel like an ally. I believe I’m an ally. But I don’t look or sound like an ally. So I’m obviously not an ally. I feel hurt.

Situation isn’t important; a soap opera is a soap opera. But I said a thing without considering every possible dimension of interpretation, and I got reported. I’m a horrible person. We hetbois are all the same.

I’m sorry for trying. Really, I am. I’ll never try again. Or maybe I should keep trying all the way up to my character limit. Whatever. I’m just some guy. Unimportant.

Or just don’t post. My kind already has enough column inches. I’m tired.

Not Quite Fight Club

Dreamed that in 2000, actors Tim Roth and Francis McDormand moved to my hometown to document him fighting 12 different teenagers. Not like he’s a martial artist or anything, just him going around the area and finding 16 to 18 year olds who want to fight him. As if there was a nascent underground brawling scene or something.

Was made on a budget of $200,000. Of course this never saw the light of day, because Weinstein refused to distribute it due to all the fighters being minors and nobody signing any releases or getting any pay. But Tarantino occasionally shows it at house parties.

Twenty Five and Life

me@workstation:~/$ whois phaysis.com
Domain Name: PHAYSIS.COM
Creation Date: 2000-04-14T14:49:59Z

Always amazed at my tenacity to keep this domain name, now for 25 years. At a quarter century, and almost half my life, it’s become part of my identity. May as well get the logo tattooed on my arm.

I’m certain that if I ever let this domain go, it’ll be snatched up by porn SEO bots within hours. Can’t let them have all the fun.

Thanks for coming around.

Travel Up

It has been almost 10 years (September 2015) since my first-ever international airfare trip, to Toronto Ontario; and my tonight wanderlust is stronger than ever. I’ve hit a point in my life where my air miles is higher than my ground years, and now I want to leave the confines of my local country to see the world to find what it’s about.

I miss being half-drunk and walking around one of the many college areas of a foreign city and not feeling like I should be paranoid about getting run-upon and mugged. I need reckless abandon again.

But my gov is making sure I’ll never have it again. Keep your head on a swivel, because someone’s pretending to represent you to them, and that someone is not you. You are more like the others. I am more like the others.

I miss my Canadian friends. Danielle, we’ll hang out again soon. I hope you’re doing great.

Until then, I’ll keep my passport fresh and try finding someplace within to get weird with my experience of the world. There are pockets of not-me out there, and I have to find them. I need to find them.