A Christmash Mirrakle *hic*

After a six-hour drive with a low number of snags, I made it home to Texarkana safe and sound for my Christmas visit. And wouldn’t you know it, no sooner did I walk in the door, the Christmas drama Story began.

Ok. As I’m grabbing my stuff from the car for the first load into the house, I noticed that my uncle Randy’s truck was running. I looked inside and saw that he was either asleep, passed out, or just really, really chilled out. Out of the ordinary, yes, but for some reason I can expect that here. So, I walk into the door and my aunt Janet greets me. First words out of her mouth tell-all that she’s had a few too many. And she’s bawling.

“Janet, what’s wrong?”
“We can’t find Lucky.”
“How long has Lucky been gone?”
“He’s been gone for a few hours. We’ve looked all over, we’ve yelled for him, Randy has gone out to find him, he’s just, he’s just uh,” and Janet starts crying again.

So, I put my stuff away, fetched the second load, and made an attempt to wake Randy up. After a few too many knocks on his window, he stirs awake and has a tougher-than-usual time getting the truck door open. He succeeds, and I help him out.

“Yeah, that damn dawg done run off. We cain’t find ‘im. Sumbitch prolly got killed or run over. ‘Bout ta believe somebody done run off with ‘im.”
“Well, it’s possible, yeah. I’m thinking he just found a nice warm place or something.”
“Yeah, that’s a poss’bility, but I still think that damn boy, uh, what’s his name, did something.”

I nod my head. We go inside where he offers me some dinner. After nuking some nice smoked turkey, hot links and beans, we sit down and start shooting the shit about what’s been goin’ on, what’s happening at his job, some of my Austin stories, and we’re just enjoying our dinner.

Well, Janet, bless her heart, she’s sitting in the living room in sadness, despair, and heartbreak worrying about her dog. She calls me in there to ask me a question.

“Shawn, is it possible that Lucky will, I mean, y’know, it is possible he’ll come back?”

“Yeah, it’s likely that he will. Some dogs usually do, I suppose. I don’t think anything’s happened to him.”

“Oh, ok. I hope so. Thank you, Shawn, thank you.”

I go back to the kitchen, and Randy and I get back to dinner and keep chatting.

Well, about ten minutes later, roughly five minutes after the stroke of Christmas morning’s midnight, we hear Janet opening the front door and talking loudly. We bend our heads around the corner to see what’s going on, and wouldn’t you know it, Lucky zooms right into the house and runs to the kitchen to greet everybody. Lucky made it back home!

Janet was so weepy and happy that Lucky had made it home, she ran over and hugged me in a way very much resembling the way that a woman with a little too much to drink would run over and hug someone when they’re happy. She said, “Oh, Shawn, thank you, thank you for bringing Lucky back. Thank you. Oh my Lord, thank you Shawn.”

I was at a loss for what to say. I didn’t bring Lucky back, but to aunt Janet, by saying something positive about the situation to keep it from getting worse, I guess I made the miracle happen.

So, there we have it. There’s our Christmas Miracle for this year. Enjoy it in warmth. And remember, if you keep things positive, you might get Lucky. (yes, this whole story is true. Thank you.)

Mahrry Chrishmiss!

Merry Christmerch!

Once again, I impressed myself.

Tonight, after being stuck at home sick for two days, I went out and did my christmerch shopping. I got all my gifts, for those at home who’re most important to me, in less than two hours from start to finish. And, it gets better: I spent only $65 total. Nice.

Take that!

So, yeah, I’m feeling better. My visit to the doc yesterday was fruitful, apparently, because the drugs I got made my sinus infection go away within a half-day. The only problem, though, is that the steroid drug I’m taking is making my heart want to palpitate more than usual, but all I gotta keep in mind is to smoke much less than usual and avoid anything more than one coca-cola a day. And speaking of my chest, the sinus infection has migrated, if you will, downtown to my chest. I could feel the emigration action last night as I sat at home on IRC. Hey, as long as I can hack and cough it away, I’ll be fine.

Ok. Again, a kind reminder: I am coming home to Texarkana on Wednesday; leaving here that afternoon after I work a half-day and do some packing. I will try to go out and about that night, and spend most of Xmerch Day with my family. I will be leaving TXK on Sunday evening.

Ugh. Twelve more hours of driving. Do I love the holidays or what?

It’s not flu, but…

I am sick.

Friday morning, I woke up with the back of my throat swollen and puffy. I swallowed as hard as I could, made the best of it, and went on about my day. It got better over time.

Fast forward to around 8 last night. After dealing with sneezes and super-dry nose all day (figuring it’s the dry, dusty weather), my nose starts running, my throat swells up again, and I feel ill. Dammit. So, I put on my shoes, went to HEB, and got a bunch of juices, chicken soups, and some cold/flu medication. Got home, made a bowl of soup (with much extra minced garlic), took a vitamin, took the cold med, and waited for sleep.

This morning, I was still no better. It was as if I had done nothing at all. Damn. So I went to the doctor. He said I had sinusitis, and gave me a scrip for some serious drugs. One I’m supposed to take 2 pills twice a day for 2 days, then 1 pill twice a day until the bottle’s empty (these things are horse-pills!). This is my antibiotic. The other is a steroid with a really wierd dosing schedule: first day, 6 pills at scheduled times, the second day is five pills, third day is four, and so on until my last day of 1 pill. And I’m supposed to take these with food. Yum.

Someone just shoot me. :ugh:

So, if you don’t see me hanging out on my weekend, please understand. I either 1) don’t feel well, or 2) don’t want to infect anyone else with this. This sucks. So, yeah, please understand.

As a forewarning, tho, I am travelling to Texarkana for my xmas holiday trip this wednesday. I will work half a day and leave that afternoon. I have scheduled the friday after xmas off so that I can have a nice 4-day trip. I will be leaving for Austin on sunday.

You have been forewarned. That is all.

Hello!

Some things have changed here at Phaysis. My music, which was hosted on mp3.com, is no longer there. Mp3.com has gone the way of the dodo, the dinosaur, and the stock acquisition. R.I.P. MP3.com It’s been a great ride. Hopefully soon I’ll be able to get my music posted here and made publicly accessible for you folks to listen to.

I’m still working on my game, Chrontium. Taking it at a leisurely pace. I have a playable demo so far, but it’s still not ready for public release. Just keep tuned-in.

I’m also removing “Obey”. It’s been a site fixture for quite some time, but after looking at my access and error logs, I’ve found a lot of files mis-requested by the page. I must edit the page to do things the right way. If you miss it, sorry. It’ll be back in due time.

However, for those who’re interested, I did make an update to my image gallery. I recently re-rendered a video, and I thought I’d share it with you fine folks. The video is called “Terran and Proud”; scroll to the bottom of the gallery to read all about it.

Ah, changes.

Women still turn me on-

Tonight I’m in a decently chilled-out mood. I tuned to KGSR on my drive home from a friend’s house and discovered that they play a radio program I’ve not listened to in the years since netradio.com passed away: Musical Starstreams. Forrest, the host, seems to have an excellent taste in the best ambient music out there, and that chilled me out so smooth. I extended my drive for another hour just to listen and take it all in.

I grabbed something to eat and came home. Found a girl I’ve not seen in 3 years was online, so we chatted. Another girl I like also came online, so we chatted. And what was funny to me was the common threads running between conversations. It seems to me that we’re all lonely. We’re all trying for mates and running into no luck. We’re finding problems with finding mates who see things the same way we see them.

The second girl was having a major problem with men who make the wrong assumptions about relationships; her beef is that there are a lot of guys where she lives who feel that if the sex is good, there’s probably something wrong, because it’s obvious that they’re in the relationship for the wrong reasons. I mean, what about personality, intellect, linguistic patterns, right? Wrong. C’mon, guys; it’s not all about sex, sure, but, as she puts it, “I don’t think I could tolerate a lifetime of mediocre sex.” Well-put. Her main point of contention is that people should get out of the saint/whore complex; get away from it. If someone is good in the sack, they’re good in the sack. Sex is an integral part of the pair-bonding in any relationship; if it’s lacking, there better be a damned-good reason to overlook other shortcomings. Good sex is no reason to pull away from a relationship. In my opinion, and in my experience, the better the sex, the stronger I want to stay in that relationship, the more I want to see that girl, the more I will gladly compromise.

The first girl’s point of contention is that, for one, she’s not the kind of girl who will hide her true feelings, and she doesn’t want a boy who expects that out of a girl. When she has a problem, she’ll talk; sometimes forcibly, but she’ll talk. With her, when her man asks her, “Honey, what’s wrong?” there’s no, “Nothing, honey” spoken through gritted teeth. She wants a man to be her “partner in the business,” to discuss matters openly, and to take care of problems. She’s had enough with soft men; those who’re “afraid” of a strong-willed woman. And I can see where she’s coming from. I’ve had a girlfriend before (in my early years) who willingly sublimated herself towards the goal of keeping me and, honestly, that freaked me out. I don’t want half a woman; I want the whole woman. That means the great sex, the alternate point of view, the randomness and interest of having two minds in the deal. I can see her point.

I admit that I’m still a tad naive on the matters of love, but shit, if I can see eye-to-eye with these two women, then what’s my problem? Where are the rest of the women who share their viewpoints? Why haven’t I met them? Why is my bed still empty?

I have a possible answer. Roughly three weeks ago, I had an epiphany. Around 85% of my friends are male. A regular sausage-fest. The problem is that most of those guys, the ones who aren’t in a relationship already, are totally happy with sausage-fests, if you catch my drift. As I sat up at Mojo’s one night, talking tech with some of my buddies, I looked around the table and it dawned on me: I was surrounded by gay men. It didn’t bother me at the time, but it kinda bothers me now, but not for the reasons you’d expect.

So here’s my epiphany: I, Shawn Thomas, have become a “fag-hag”. I hang out with gay men. I live with gay men. I talk and chat with gay men, and I end up spending little time and energy on meeting the women I so desire. If I continue in this path, I may be a single straight man for perpetuity. And this bothers me. I don’t want a family, sure, but I do want a girlfriend, a partner, a woman. Women still turn me on. And I’m distancing myself from them for neither good nor ill. I’m distracting myself with sowing infertile soil, so to speak. I may have considered being gay at one point many years ago, but never experimented, never did anything about it. It’s not me. It’s not what I am. Women still turn me on.

It’s my hope that I find a solution to this problem soon. It’s been five thankless years since my last girlfriend, and over two years since my last one-night-stand, and it’s tiresome.

If I can see eye-to-eye with these two girls who, sadly, don’t live in my own town, then why can’t I find one who does?

:sighs: Women still turn me on.