Tired and Solitary; Peace in the Fatigue

Things haven’t been peachy as of late. Last weekend’s case of sinusitis and bronchitis put me off my course, and I’ve decided to make some serious healthy-living choices. I’m doing better, but my mood this past week hasn’t been the same. More in a frump, so to speak.

Even though I’m not too happy with my job at times, I’m more serious about it now, more involved in the work there, more with my head in the game. As long as I can run the machines, as long as I can get away to work on my own, I’m happy and more confident. If it’s just me to deal with, then my world is conquered.

My laptop has been at the Dell service depot in Memphis, TN since monday, so as of now I’ve been without it for coming on a full week. I’m not too happy with the pace of service. They are replacing the motherboard in the hopes that it will fix the docking station problem I’ve been having. They’ll also replace the keyboard for the missing spacer key, the dvd-rom drive for the broken faceplate, and potentially the LCD screen for the “hotspot” that’s developing at the bottom, just above the heat-producing, backlight-powering voltage inverter.

The official word from Dell is that it’ll take 3 to 5 business days; my friends who work there told me around 2. Come tomorrow, it’ll officially be 5 days, and if Airborne Express doesn’t show up to my job tomorrow with a package for me, Dell will have hell to pay. I’ve been without my main mode of communication to my friends for a whole week, and it’s seriously bothering me. There was a reason why I asked Dell to pick it up on Monday instead of the Friday before: I didn’t want to endure a weekend without it. Well, that happened anyway. I was complaining about the issue with our secretary at work at close of the day on Friday, and she remarked, while waving hands mockingly, “Oh my, I’ll have to actually talk to people, oh no!” It may be funny to her, but it’s not to me. I do more with that machine than chat and browse. I actually write code and do work.

So, in the absence of my laptop diversion, I’ve been spending more time at home on my desktop computer, trying to write code (and being productive), and when I go out, I’m kind of reconnecting with some of my offline friends and disconnecting with my online friends. It’s disturbing that now that I’m in the “real world” I’m closing down, looking off into the distance, and not really wanting to talk at all. Right now, people can go to hell; my patience is short, and I’m not into bullshit. And, for once, I can find some kind of clarity in that. I’m not trying to “keep up” with people, I’m not trying to get into their lives or have them get into mine, I’m just going along on my own way. I pay them no mind.

And I’m writing a journal entry about it. I’m full of oxymorons.

I did treat myself yesterday, though. I took care of something I’ve been lacking and needing for a while. I made the heady resolution to go to a car audio shop, browse their selection, and I bought a new car tuner/cd player. It’s a 200 watt tuner from Dual. By happenstance, I found a unit that had everything I demanded; it fit my tight specifications: a volume knob instead of volume buttons, external line-in for my laptop or someone’s mp3 player, and adjustable bass and treble. The usability factor is seriously high on my list; I’m not going to buy a unit that required me to take my eyes off of the road when I’m driving 85mph in order to change the station or play with the equalization. So I took my new purchase, some CD’s from the apartment, and my toolbox and went to the parking lot behind my job and did the installation myself. I preferred the relative obscurity and anonymity of doing it there than the “I know where you live and park” danger of installing it in front of my less-than-trusty neighbors in my own parking lot. The install took about two hours, and it sounds great. Went on a long drive last night. I’m happy with it.

So there it is, folks. There’s my snapshot of my current life. But, as always, there’s more under the surface, more that I’m not letting on, but it’s only available for those who scratch.

Published by Shawn

He's just this guy, you know?