Aries (March 21-April 19): Most of what you say today will be silly and half-baked, which is only a slight departure from your norm. However, today will be special: your words will trigger others into calling you out and making light of your speech, and you will become frustrated with communication. Fear not, however, because having your words laughed at for their ill timing and poor choice will be offset by your time alone at the end of the day. Sleep on it.
Habby Nous Yarr. Whut.
First week of the new year. 51 more until the next.
Sitting at Epoch having some much-needed caffeine. Yeah, you heard me…I am at Epoch. I’ve come to the conclusion that there’s something about every coffee shop that just bugs the shit out of me, and over time, it all evens out. Every place sucks. So much so that I bought a french press, but even though my apartment has fucking awesome wireless, great seating, killer music, and absolutely no problem with parking, it’s practically empty. There’s nobody there. So over the holiday break, I got epically bored out of my mind and decided to break my personal ban on Epoch. Now it’s just another humdrum option out of a handful of other humdrum options.
So anyway, I’m having coffee. I think it’s starting to kick in. Usually some time around 5 o’clock my head just caves in and I feel like all my sugar and will and concentration and vision just goes away like wet ashes. And that’s when I need coffee. Usually, by the time I leave work an hour or so later, I’m at wits end trying to concentrate on the road home.
I’ve got a big project at work, and it finally started after three days of false starts. A coworker has spent the past year writing on a suite of tools to allow the automation of some of our hardware data collection efforts. We finally had a reason to apply his software to our setup, and after several fits and starts while trying to fit the hammer to the nail, it’s finally up and working.
Right now, it’s banging away in the lab and doing nicely. We got it running at 5:30, and I decided that instead of letting it run for part of its cycle before killing it when I leave for the weekend, I would go ahead and let it finish its full run since the data is so important to those who deem it so. I would’ve done that regardless except the actual testbed setup needs to be shut down afterwards. There are parts of the equipment that don’t need to be running idle all weekend, so my plan is to return to work tonight at 10 and shut it down when it’s done.
Which is why I’m here having coffee and a slice of pizza. I got time to kill, and a need to fill. Sucks that I have to go back to work on a friday night, but I’ll be there for, what, half an hour.
Speaking of work and billable time, I got an extension on my contract. My manager has been pressing Human Resources to get me converted to permanent for the past few months, and now that the company’s on hard times, the economy’s in the dumps, blah blah blah, HR has frozen all open requisitions company-wide. So I can’t get converted, at least not this quarter. So instead of hiring me permanently, they extended my contract another six months…which puts me over the company-standard 24-month limit on contracts. So, if anything happens in May (the 24th month), it happens. Elsewise, I finish the contract extension and see what happens at the next end.
I’m glad that my manager was able to impress upon HR how important my position is. I just hope that I can live up to that.
The Macaroni Experiment
I’ve been experimenting in the kitchen. Anyone who knows me knows that I don’t cook; if ever a chance came up to cook, and I actually took it, I’d be the first to brag about myself and my culinary activities. That’s because it’s a once-in-a-while thing for me. Most of the people on this earth cook every single day, but each time I cook, it’s so rare…it’s a special event.
Tonight, I went by a suggestion from a coworker. We were talking about our holiday exploits and the kind of stuff we cooked up (I made pork chops one night and pot roast for xmas day — like woah). I mentioned that I was thinking about taking a half pound of ground beef and fixing it with macaroni and cheese. What he suggested was twelve orders of magnitude better than the bachelor-chow I was planning. I’m sure most of you know this dish, hell it may even be comfort food in your family, but it’s shit-simple and incredibly good.
Beefy Macaroni and Veggies
This is a single-skillet meal; makes 2 servings. Scale up to fit your needs or tastes.
- 1/2 pound ground beef
- 1/2 cup elbow macaroni
- 2/3 cup diced tomatos, canned or fresh-chopped like mine
- 1/3 green bell pepper, diced
- 1/4 yellow onion, chopped
- 1 tsp minced garlic
- 1 can tomato paste (or a few squirts of ketchup if your cupboard is barren like mine)
- shredded parmesan
Brown the beef in a large skillet; season as desired. Set it to the side to drain like I did or scoot it to the edge of the skillet. Then dump the macaroni and a cup of water in the skillet to begin boiling. Then add everything else: diced tomatos, tomato paste (or ketchup, tsk-tsk), peppers, onions, garlic. Stir everything, then let that simmer, stirring occasionally for 7 to 10 minutes or so until the macaroni is done, the veggies are soft and semi-translucent, and the water is absorbed. Pull off a serving and top with shredded parmesan cheese. Serve with a side salad for a crunchy alternation.
I completely surprised myself. Tons better than Hamburger Helper(tm), and a heap better than my unoriginal bachelor meal plan. Another meal to my repertoire!
To Feel Love
I’m going to write about a dream. This morning, I had a fucked-up dream. I was in love; this girl and I were hanging out. Something small was in bloom. As dreams go, she dropped out of the plot as I went elsewhere.
I was in a big house, ostensibly a place I lived in. It was clean, the light was cold, the walls were white. Found a needle full of heroin. Someone told me to not inject it, but that’s exactly what I did. I walked off, found a vein in my left elbow, and shot up. Like it was nothing. Felt the cold warmth in my arm as it spread. Felt it take over. Felt it take control. I disposed of the needle and stumbled into my bedroom, fell into bed. Felt everything that’s ever been described to me: mental calm, inner peace, warmth, a sense of belonging, a feeling of love.
Maybe my life is so cold and lonesome that there’s an excess of the neurochemicals associated with belonging to something and being loved; that they manifest themselves in dreams. Sounds plausible. I also watched a movie last night with similar themes to the dream, so there’s that. Things like movies and shows always reassemble themselves into the plots of my dreams.
Everything is explained…except for the fact that I’d willingly shoot up heroin in a dream. Like it was natural. It’s a dream, so no consequences, I guess. Not something I’d like to do, ever, mostly out of the fear of sliding downhill, like I did with cigarettes. The first smoke came naturally, flourished in an environment of friendship and solidarity with other people, and slid down into a lonely 2-pack daily habit.
I never want to play with that kind of fire ever again. I want to feel loved, to feel like I belong, but not at that price. Never at that price.
Who Reads the Watchmen
I picked up a copy of The Watchmen a few weeks ago. Finished it tonight. I’m at once troubled and equally satisfied. The story; it’s an incredible story. Alan Moore and Dave Gibbons did an incredible job. Incredible. They have an ability to weave parallel threads seamlessly with the same overlapping dialog and artwork. It’s breathtaking. What comes to mind is a particular scene where two protagonists are in a room having a conversation; that conversation is echoed by the people at a newsstand, and illustrated by a comic book being read by a kid at the stand. All three threads promote and illuminate each other.
Gibbons’ artwork borders on the sublime in his transitions, where a character in that comic book about pirates is standing at the shore having an internal monologue, and the next panel is one of the story’s protagonists standing at the edge of a pool, continuing the monologue. I’m sure it’s de rigueur for comics, but it blew me away. One panel is a graffiti outline of two lovers in an embrace, next panel is two heroes making amends with a hug. Woah.
Breathtaking.
But the ending. The ending. It’s all wrong. I’m blown away, but it’s all wrong. There is no justice. I was expecting a descension into deus ex machina at the least, but no. Moore threw a left hook. The conspiracy of silence! There is no justice, only silence! And salvation. It goes against my western storytelling sensibilities!
I’ll spend some time digesting.
I can’t begin to figure out how this story can be crammed into a movie. This story, the artwork, the threads, everything is so dense and rich with information. To boil it all down, to render the fat away and leave the muscle and sinew and bone, I have no idea. I have the highest hopes, but this is Hollywood; we’ve been let down time and again. All I can hope for, really, is the basic plot, and to be satisfied with that. I’m not sure when the movie is planned for release; apparently it’s tied up in legal tangles. The usual copyrights issues.
So. I’m sitting back and sighing, completely satisfied. If you want to read, I have a copy to loan.