Motion of the Ocean: to the Sea, to the Salt, to the Sinuses.

I was out sick for two days last week; came down with some sinus respiratory thing that’d been plaguing me for the past month. Remnants of the girl cooties I picked up. It settled down two weeks ago, but then a few shots of alcohol threw the bacterial balance off and it got worse over the next few days. Saw the doc Tuesday, got the amoxycillin. Doc recommended something non-antihistamine to help with the symptoms. I was like, “what, you mean like one of those Neti pots?” “Exactly.” So tonight, I bought one.

Now I hate my doctor.

Sure, I can breathe through my nose now. Mostly. I could do that before. But now there’s a slightly burning sensation…and the permanent taste of salt, baking soda, and snot in my mouth and throat. Gag. I think it would’ve been better had I shaken up a carbonated water bottle and jammed it up my nose. Sure, I know it’s my first time to the dance and with practice I can develop the technique, but I had absolutely no grace about it. The stuff that ran down the back of my throat collected in my mouth and came out as salty drool. It’s like I devolved back to my infant form. Absolutely no grace, absolutely no class.

Given that I paid twelve bucks for this damn thing, I may as well finish out the 30 packets of “dry solution mix” provided with it. I can’t believe they’re selling this, but people are buying it…and swearing by it. My coworker got one when he was out sick; swears by it. Doc swears by it. It seems to be the In Thing now. And all the white people go “it’s from Finland/Holland/Scandanavia, so it’s got to be good! Let’s dose up, blow out, and then go to Ikea!”

Me? I can’t swear by it. I’ll just stand next to it…and swear.

Published by Shawn

He's just this guy, you know?