Solo Pot Roast, 2020 Edition

Spending Thanksgiving 2020 alone and away from your family? Treat yourself by making Pot Roast! Here’s a recipe in 10 easy steps. You’ll absolutely love that flaky crust!

1: Purchase a 2lb bottom round roast. Find a cut with good marbling and a thick strap of fat.

2: Peel and chop onions, potatoes, and carrots.

3: Open the meat package and discover it is turning gray under the labels, even though you bought it yesterday and it doesn’t expire for another two days.

4: Cut off the bad half and hope the good half is salvageable, despite the line of gray under the pink outside. Rub with olive oil and seasonings. Sear on medium-high heat, a minute on each side.

5: Collect your spices and herbs, and mix together to create your seasoning sauce.

6: After some pained hesitation, place meat in crock pot and cover with veggies. Pour the sauce evenly over the contents, place cover, and turn on the pot.

7: Cook for 5 hours or until tender, or until you ultimately decide you don’t want food poisoning again.

8: Throw entire meal away. Not even the veggies are salvageable. Save your tears for later.

9: Remove turkey pot pie from box and microwave for six minutes or until hot.

10: Tastes like giving up! Mmmmm!

Published by Shawn

He's just this guy, you know?