Dreams are bullshit and mean nothing, generally. But sometimes they can be used to reveal where your head’s at.
Here’s where my head’s at:
- I’m hanging out with a lot of people, out in the world. Finally, there’s society. We’re talking, having fun. Sun’s out and everything’s green and warm. Blue sky day. This girl and I are actually hitting it off: flirting, poking, laughing, working toward something good. And then it’s interrupted when we watch a plane crash into the blind school three blocks away. It’s the second crash there in as many days.
- I have a nice, large apartment, lots of windows, ready to move in. Then it starts raining into every window because they’re all open. The floor gets soaked until I can close them all. I clean up and leave the apartment into a restaurant, back of house, where people I know as friends are waiting on diners. Masks everywhere. I can’t find my way back home.
- Then I go downstairs, remember I’ve moved to Paris, France. Everything’s wonderful; I’m well-traveled and finally living abroad. Somehow, I know Français. I cross the street to head to the market, and everything around me transforms into the decayed ruins one sees in urban exploration videos. I’m now on the destroyed edge of town doing parkour across the detritus while trying to evade sécurité.
Generally, my most intense dreams center around the stuff I’ve been mentally working through or things I experienced during the previous day. The concerns most front-and-center in my mind echo loudly among the random firings of my neurons during REM sleep; the resulting dreams are my best interpretation of the chaos. Usually they evaporate in the morning sun like SF Bay fog, but these three vignettes have hung on me all day like condensed sweat, fouling any sense of sanctity.
So yeah. That’s where my head’s at. These dreams mean nothing other than to highlight my lack of hope in the future. Things can be great and happy, then it can all collapse and decay and molder in the blink of an eye due to uncontrollable outside forces.
These are heavy times. Take care of each other out there, and check in on yourself once in a while. We have to keep going, just in case there actually is a future worth hoping for. We’ll come back home.