What about moving back to Arkansas? Why does that sound like a good idea? No, not moving back to Texarkana (never back to Texarkana). Was thinking about it while making my bed tonight. What if? Where? Fayetteville or Hot Springs? And, seriously, how would I make money?
I’m so shell-shocked by my current job. Maybe I should escape and find a part-time gig bringing wireless to the back woods. Fukkit. I dunno. Maybe I should quit computers and find something that makes money in an area that just doesn’t understand computers. I dunno.
If not I.T., then what? Fuckifiknow.
Nobody said I had to stay in Austin. Actually, my love for this city is unrequited. Austin doesn’t give a shit for me; it doesn’t even know me. Then why be a small fish in a big pond? Opportunity? Moral grit? Comeupance? But for 16 years this has been my home, and I’m so accustomed to it. I’m 44 and am becoming less flexible as the years pass. Eventually, I’ll move somewhere else and end up missing all of the creature comforts that are only found in Austin. (But, just like I miss some of the creature comforts of Greensboro, so I’ll miss those of Austin.)
So then, I ask: what next? Where and Why? I don’t fucking know. I hate computers. I hate loneliness. I need reconnection to humanity. If I can’t find that in Austin, then where, eh? Where?