Those curious as to my employment status: yes, I’m still unemployed. Am I looking for work? The short answer is “yes”. The long answer is “not really”. Rather embarrassing to answer that when people ask. “Oh, that’s cool”, they say, while thinking, “Why the hell not? Must be nice.” Why not? Because I’m slow at it. Because I’m not hungry enough yet. Because I live by my belly. Little more. Which is not really a useful quality when I’m looking at convincing strangers that I have useful qualities.
The state of it is that I’m working on my resumÃ©, which has been a month-long effort that should’ve taken 3 hours, tops. I’m a perfectionist, I want to make the right impression, I want to put my best foot forward, etcetera. At the root, I’m just afraid of one phrase: “No, not you.” It’s not really the rejection that gets me, it’s the exhaustion of options until I’m left to scratch at the dirt, to really work at finding work.
I suppose a resumÃ© is much like a book, poem, song, in that it’s not finished until the author is tired of looking at it. However, a song is typically not customized for whoever is to listen.