Time and Distance

I am not in the habit of discussing matters of the heart publicly, but if you’re wondering what I’ve been up to the past few months….

I’m coming out of this Thing I had with someone. It was never really defined, so Thing is what we’ll call it. By the strictest definition, yeah, it was a relationship, but it is what it was: enigmatic on the best of days.

She and I had a hard time throughout most of it; the open questions, the crossfire of intents. The pattern, as it played out, was “start, stop, start, crash, kinda start, kinda fizzle.” Although we’d been friends for years before we made a go at it, it just did not work out for reasons I’ll not describe in public.

I’m a little numb from the experience, and dumb on where to go from here. Relationships, good or bad, are disruptive to the status quo. Habits change, plans get pushed out, internal desires get sidetracked at the first glimpse of no longer going it alone. Now on the other side of it, it’s just me, sorting the pieces and remembering where I left off.

I will say, emphatically, that she still has my adoration, respect and friendship. Always will. She is a strong and dignified human being. I can only hope the feeling is mutual. Maybe time apart will help us to sort out our feelings and let us restore our friendship to something resembling what it was.

Published by Shawn

He's just this guy, you know?