Halloween. Did nothing, went nowhere. Election day. Got up early and voted. Dia de los Muertos. I don’t celebrate, but I’m burning candles anyway.
In the past now. Memories. May they fade quick.
But then the future? Two close friends are wedding this week. About damn time, I say. Taking time off for it. And then Thanksgiving this month; a full week off. And two weeks off for winter holiday. I need a break. I need a damn vacation. Need a recharge, and to figure out what I’m doing with my life and, aside from its obvious ending, where it’s going.
Fatigue. Solitude. Depression. It’s a vicious circle. I want to dream again. Bring the Wheel around to the virtuous circle. The problem of looking at the Wheel so one-dimensionally is that its revolutions always plot out to a sinusoid, the roller coaster of my mood. I need that second dimension to keep myself rounded, perpetually in equilibrium. I miss feeling whole.