(Phaysis)

My trip to Texarkana for the holiday was good.

I left a day later than I had wanted; got out of here at 10am wednesday morning and arrived in Texarkana around 4:30pm. Neverminding the smooth traffic flow, the two traffic jams (on a highway, no less), the torrential rain for 30 miles of the trip, the slowdown caused by accident rubberneckers, and the 10 miles stuck behind a 20-wheeled crane moving along at a leisurely 55mph, the drive up there sucked. The drive was around 45 minutes longer than usual. But I got there.

But for the visit, though, I got to see more of my family, buddies, and friends than I usually do on my typical two-day whirlwind weekend. Got the chance to help my sister and her husband with their “new” computer. Oh my god that piece of shit is ancient. After dealing with cleaning the dust out, upgrading the OS from Win95 to Win98, trying to get them online, installing more ram (it originally came with 16 megs of ram), and dealing with a new video card, they finally have a new computer and are now able to go online and check stuff out. So, to them, I say, “Welcome to Phaysis. Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain!”

I managed to eat quite well the entire weekend. The dinner was at my sister’s in-laws’ little shindig. Was nice to see them all again. Afterwards, I left to go see my own friends for the first time since getting home. Hung out until the wee hours of the morning, then went home. Friday, same thing — go out, come home late.

I managed to borrow a pc-card modem from a friend of mine, and was able to get online on friday nite. That was cool, kinda. Dialup sucks. (I’m so glad to be back home on my cable modem.)

Thursday night, though, I was so bored that I decided to indulge in my new hobby: wardriving. I was under the mistaken impression that Texarkana residents are still in the internet stone ages, unlike Austin, which have businesses that advertise free wireless access as a major selling point. So, on my drive, I found a ton of wireless hotspots in this one corner of town, and surprisingly enough, 95% of them were encrypted and secured. I did find three spots, though, that were wide open. That wasn’t so surprising.

I drove by this one hotspot and whipped into the parking lot to examine my readings. Found out it was open, and the major street that I was on was deader than a doornail, so I zeroed-in on the access point, picked up my laptop, and proceeded to associate with the node and I browsed for a good five minutes, tittering like a little schoolgirl. All the while, though, I had my eyes flashing between rear-view mirrors on the lookout for cops, guards, feds, whoever. A couple of times I had to do “turnarounds” in parking lots when the security guards in their nice trucks started coming my way, but not with this hotspot. I did my (mostly-legal) business and cruised on through the neighborhood and out of sight.

My little experience there gave me a few important survival tips, which I’m still compiling. But I had fun.

Ah, :sighs: work today, coupled with the long weekend and the tough driving, has left me tired and in need of some sort of energy or something. I want to write a journal entry detailing what all happened this weekend, but you’ll have to excuse me today. My writing sucks. Ah well.

Anyway, I got to have lunch with my mother sunday, and I hung out with her for the rest of the day until I had to leave for home. I left Texarkana around 8pm and got here at 2am. Total time for drive home: 6 hours and 57 seconds. I loaded my stuff into my apartment, unpacked, and got ready for bed. Let me tell you, sprawling out on my own big bed, with soft sheets, after that long drive, is a helluva lot better than trying to catch catnaps on my mom’s couch. Damn straight.

Ok, time to go kill some food. I’m starved.

Hmm.

A dull 4th of July weekend indeed. Hmph.

Thanks go to anyone who bothered to read my last post. It was long in the tooth but I didn’t care. It’s good to remember, and I feel it’s a story I find myself recalling out-loud a lot, so I wanted to get it out and published so I could stop retelling it. The few responses I got from that post were positive, and I want to thank you guys. I’m considering making a section here that’ll have stories just like that, a “rolling autobiography” of sorts. I have stories, as does everyone, but if I could post the stories that illuminate the definition of who I am and where I’m from then maybe, just maybe, someone out there will know me and understand me better.

Memory is the curse of the higher-order mammals.

On a more recent note, I went out “drinking” last night. A friend of mine twisted my arm into going downtown, which we did, but after spending 20 minutes driving the distance of one block in 6th-and-Red-River gridlock, we shucked the idea and ended up at The Texas Showdown. Had a pitcher of beer, good beer, from [Live Oak Brewery], based here in town. Well, actually, my friend had the pitcher, and I had half a pint before I was overbuzzed to the point of questionable constitution. Her fears about me were confirmed: I’m a damned lightweight. I swear, by summer’s end, I’m going to drink a whole damned bottle of beer and not need to puke. Hmph.

Got back to Mojo’s and had myself a mug of coffee and some good chatter with some other folks (I could finally hear again), and got sobered enough to drive home.

Friday, though, was a different story altogether. I woke up in a funk. A slump. Crick in my neck, head hurt like hell, and my worldview was mighty small. Just didn’t feel like doing much of anything. I had plans to go downtown to see the fireworks, but I just sat on the Mojo’s porch and watched the world go by. Left for home early, took a Xanax to calm my chest, and waited for bed.

Sunday, today, wasn’t much different. I’m just in a slump. I think I’m getting burned out on this whole programming-as-a-hobby thing. I love doing it, I feel the drive to finish my website engine but, fuck, if I can’t ignore the world long enough, if I can’t pay attention to my code, I get so lost. Programming at Mojo’s is a bad idea these days. The section of code I’m working on filters SQL queries based on the permissions of the current user. Works, mostly, but I’m at a point where the code almost feels repetitive and it’s kind of intimidating the amount of work I have to do to make it work right.

Called my mother for the first time in a good while tonight. Was good to talk. Told her I’m planning on getting out of Austin for a few days and I’m coming to visit her in Texarkana this weekend. She was happy to hear that. I’m gonna see if I can pull somebody along with me for the weekend. I need to get away for a bit. Seriously.

Tired at 31. This is so wrong. Does anyone else feel that way?