Currently in a state of spirit death.
The only thing I do anymore is work, watch video, and try to mollify the pain of existence.
What do I do when I get bored? I log in to work. Nights. Weekends.
If you can make a living doing what you love, you will never work a day in your life!
— Credo of desperate self-employed entrepreneurs with something to sell
Bullshit. You will work every damned day until you fall, because you’ve pushed out everything else.
I’ve pushed out everything else.
Hobbies, friends, passions, loves, dreams. Dead. Spirit death.
Nothing brings anything approaching joy but solving computer problems. And I hate computers. It’s like playing Mahjongg, or Sudoku, or arranging pieces of broken furniture on the floor in regular patterns. The solved puzzle brings a squirt of endorphins, but then you’ve lost the night.
I wonder where to go from here.