9-19-91 First Journal

(transcript of the first page of my first written journal, in my 2nd year of college at OBU)

9-19-91 4:05PM:

This is my personal journal. It’s my goal to write down my thoughts, feelings, etc., when I feel like I need to. Perhaps it could be a key to find out who or what I really am, or what I want to be. I beg the reader of this document (this is for no one to read!) to understand these goals, to understand my attempts and my logs. I hope no one ever gets to read this without my consent. No one. If you can’t understand what I write, too bad!


If you read this you will notice that there aren’t too many “happy” entries. Bear in mind that when I am feeling good, I probably will see no need to make an entry, so chances are, most of the entries will be written in a “depressed” or “angry” state.

9-20-91 12:00AM:

I’m feeling pretty good at this moment. I am tired, as you might figure. I just got finished with a big Intro to Mass Comm assignment, and I’m glad. Why am I writing two lines per ruling? I don’t know. Habit, I guess. Besides, I write better like this, and I save space. It works for me. Oh well. I have to do some more stuff before I go to bed. (Do you ever feel like there’s something that’s got to get done, but you can’t remember what?!)


I’m feeling pretty good today. I have been for the past couple of days. Indian summer, I guess. Lots of questions about some people. Getting sick of some people’s criticism and sarcasms. It’s alright for a while, I’ve had too much. New table maybe? Yeah. Cool. Go for it!

What you’ll find is that this electronic journal is more of the same kind of things, but far less intimate. I love you, and hope you understand me more by reading, but the deep, dark stuff? Forget it. That’s what paper is for. Those will never make it to electronic form, not until long after I’m gone.

That being said, it’s true that I seldom write when things are good. I suppose many people do this, but I’m sensitive to that of myself. Thanks for following along and reading when you can. You make this all worth it.

Published by Shawn

He's just this guy, you know?