Deflating

No, I don’t need to be doing this. No. Not right now. Shit. No.

Trying to write some code to parse my pay stubs from my last job into a usable spreadsheet format, so I can do some math and consider signing on with unemployment insurance. The mental gears are working and I’m diagnosing the problem, but just looking at the pay stubs, at what I made at that job — and what I’m not getting anymore — I’m throwing myself into a panic freakout. Fuck. God dammit. No.

I’m not broke, but I’m not gaining money. How soon until I run dry? How desperate will I be then? Fuck. More desperate than right now, for sure. The smart man would’ve found a job by now.

Putting the project away until a more level-headed hour. I need a distraction.

Published by Shawn

He's just this guy, you know?