I should have left when I felt it. But, no, I hung around just five more minutes. Just enough time for me to get suddenly hit with an egg thrown from a passing car.
There is nothing you can do about people who drive by and throw eggs when you’re sitting in front of a coffee shop. NOTHING. And that’s what angers me the most. By the time you realize what just happened to you and every single bit of clothing you’re wearing, the car is at the next intersection and speeding away.
My freshly washed shirt and shorts, fresh socks, even my laptop bag and my hair, were trashed by running, slimy egg. No telling how old the egg itself was. All I know is that I’m sitting there, I feel a smack! on my right shoulder (which felt like someone came up behind me and smacked me really hard), I turn around and find no one there, my friend Collin looks at me to see what happened, assesses the situation, stands up to get a look at the car, and notes its make and model (BMW 3-series, or something like that), and I look to see what hit me then realize it was a fucking egg. A FUCKING EGG! Even Collin’s pants got the shrapnel. I tell you, that shit gets everywhere.
I cannot put forward how much anger I feel right now. That angers me even more.
FUCK OFF AND DIE, BORED YUPPIE FUCKERS! FUCK OFF AND DIE!
Thankfully, some guys, a bunch of badasses a few tables over, offered to help should those fuckers swing back by for another pass.
And so this summer’s round of chickenshit attacks begins. Time to take a shower and soak my clothes.
Fuck. Fuck this all to Hell. Fuck.