My greatest feat today was defeating gravity. It took an extreme force of will to pull myself up to a standing position. This is becoming a frequent problem of late, viewing the room from the floor, grabbing at the furniture, standing what I see when I look at myself. Forgiveness comes in tiny doses. I …
Tag Archives: life
Topsoil
Get old enough, and your habits, your pleasures, your fixations require a push, a jab, to still feel something. The depths of perversion one must reach. Pain in the mix. The risk of embarrassment. The final washing away of the delusion that after death you’ll have to stand in judgment as the film reel of …
Every Year’s Eve
Who’s the sad sack sitting in front of his laptop at the coffeeshop? That’s right. I shouldn’t complain, though. At least I’m not sitting in front of my computer at home. 2011 was supposed to be better than 2010. It wasn’t. 2010 was supposed to be better than 2009. It wasn’t. 2009 was supposed to …
Blame
“You are responsible for your own experience.” From what I’ve been told, this statement is posted at the front gate of any Burning Man event. It is supposed to be an admonition to seize your own destiny and craft the kind of life you want to lead. To me, it feels like an after-the-fact, regret-filled …
Resume
Back in Austin after a few days in my hometown. Managed to sleep more than 6 hours this morning, and took my time getting out of bed and cleaned up. My coat still smells like cigarette smoke, and before I went to bed I had to clean my CPAP hoses and mask because they reeked …