District 9

If you have not seen District 9, you have done yourself a disservice. To give you an idea of why you should see it, watch this trailer. Failing that, you should know it was produced by Peter Jackson whose WETA effects studio was at the beck and call of new director Neill Blomkamp. It takes place in Johannesburg, South Africa, where an alien ship appeared in the sky 20 years ago. Inside the ship were malnourished alien refugees. They are taken down from the floating ship and given temporary housing in a refugee camp outside Johannesburg, but remain there, within its fortified walls, 20 years later. The city’s residents grew impatient with their presence and hired the MNU corporation to “evict” them to a new camp farther away from the city.

Shot in documentary style. Effects that work. Good writing. Everyone is dirty; with ringing echoes of apartheid, there are no clear protagonists. And that’s the most difficult part of the movie, taking it well beyond what you’d expect in your usual summer blockbuster. It actually has thoughts. I’m as surprised by this movie as you are, or will be. Hadn’t heard of it until friday when I read a review, and then later overheard someone who’d seen it rave about it. So I had to see for myself. Hopefully, there’s a cinema near you that’s playing it; damn shame it didn’t get full release.

A Phaysis of Rebirth

So. Welcome to the new Phaysis-point-oh. My nine years with Prohosting have drawn to a close, and with the change in webhost comes a change in journaling engines. After 9 years of trying, and failing, and trying, and failing, and trying again (and then failing), I have given up on building my own engine and have finally decided to take the path of least resistance. Phaysis.com is now powered by WordPress. Resistance is futile.

During the site’s downtime (you did notice it was down, didn’t you?), I took the opportunity to convert all my old journal entries from the original engine (and a long-lived hack) called “Sojournal” (clever, ain’t it?), into a format suitable for importing into WordPress. Took a week of work to build the conversion script. So after installing WordPress on my new webhost, doing some basic configuration, and selecting the temporary design theme, I imported all of my old entries.

Now everything I’ve written over the 6 years I used Sojournal are instantly accessible by tag, category, archive, permalinks, and by the nifty search box to the upper right. Amazing how handy that stuff is, considering that for years the only way to read specific entries in Sojournal was to step through the pages sequentially…aaaaall the way back to the start. I know a few of you who did that, and I apologize for never fixing that design oversite for so long.

In the future, I plan to post an import conversion how-to with code and samples. Because I’m pretty damn proud that I was able to identify the need, start the project, plan the solution, and implement the code necessary to finally, for once in my unproductive hobbyist career, finish the damned project. (I have to celebrate my victories, no matter how insignificant they are.)

The upside to using WordPress is that it’s one of the most widely-used blogging engines around, so there’s a ton of support, themes, plugins, widgets, debugging, etc. So the heavy lifting has been done for me already. And that’s intensely liberating, because after years of groveling at the text editor with no less than five journal-engine abortions — “Glyph”, “Raganotes”, “Craftix”, “Ph::Thing”, and most recently “Munde” (the names are more clever than the code) — I can move on with my life and get to posting. Which is why I started this site 9 years ago (I promise you).

The downside? Spambots. Common attack vectors. Well-published vulnerabilities. A treadmill of upgrades to fix problems. Actually, the upgrades are fine, since the pen-testing is done by the developer community instead of me. And the final downside: homogeny…that’s a tough one to overcome. Everyone has a blog; what makes mine so special?

This is my blog.
There are many like it, but this one is mine.
My blog is my best friend. It is my life.
I must author it as I must author my life.
My blog without me is useless. Without my blog, I am useless.
I must write my blog true.
I must shoot the shit straighter than my blogroll who is trying to ping me.
I must bullshit him before he tracks back. I will….
My blog and myself know that what counts in the blogosphere is not the flames we fire,
the noise of our posts, nor the threads we make.
We know it is the blog hits that count. We will hit….
My blog is human, even as I, because it is about my life.
Thus, I will learn it as an author.
I will learn its permalinks, its categories, its tags, its comments,
its pages, and its blogroll.
I will ever use it against the ravages of annoyances and indifference.
I will keep my blog clean and ready, even as I am clean and ready.
We will become part of each other. We will….
Before RSS I swear this feed.
My blog and myself are the defenders of my personality.
We are the writers of our emotions.
We are the presenters of my life.
So be it, until there are no more emos. PEACE.

Close Encounters for the Third Time

For the first time in my life, I was finally able to sit through a viewing of Close Encounters of the Third Kind without getting freaked the fuck out. Finally, I was able to follow the plot, feel something for the characters, and get thrilled at the end sequence instead of averting my eyes every time one of those aliens appears on screen, like I had all my other viewings during my childhood and adolescence.

You don’t understand — aliens freak me out, and this movie is what did it. It struck a five-note chord in my soul because it hit right fucking home with me. Spielberg managed to put as many aspects of modern life into the movie as possible, and it hit my life so perfectly that it became too real for me to understand. At that age, I could not seperate fact from fiction.

When it debuted in 1977, I was a scant 5 years old, and my mother, my infant sister and I were living in the flat but sometimes arid and foothills-ish land of Lubbock, Texas. Mother was in the Air Force, stationed at Reese AFB. We spent a lot of time on base, hanging out in the squadron headquarters, walking on the tarmac during air shows, hearing the planes fly overhead all day and most nights, hiding from tornados in the NCO club. It was a military life for my mother, and as her son I got to experience every week the same kind of military environment you see in the movie.

Secondly, like the kid in the movie, I had toys. Battery operated toys that made noise. Record player. I had a toy xylophone, and our trailer had floor vents, and the TV was on a lot showing soaps during the day, news at night, Budweiser ads. We drank Coca Cola and shopped at Piggly Wiggly. Ate at McDonald’s and bought our gas at the nearby Shell station. Watch the movie to catch all these references (and boggle at the incredible amount of product placement, thank you Spielberg). It was too, too close to real life.

Third, and this is most important, I kinda looked like the kid in the movie. Had a big head and everything, and tottered along when I walked. My bedroom was at the back end of our trailer, with a hallway on the side connecting my room with the bathroom, a second bedroom, and the kitchen. Built into the wall of my room was a vanity with a huge mirror. If you stand in the kitchen and look down the hallway, you can see a reflection of yourself looking back.

So one night, shortly after watching the film, mother sent me to my room to prep for bed. My room, the hallway, and the kitchen lights were off, and as I began to go down the hall with only the light from the living room behind me, I saw a silhouette in the mirror and I freaked. It looked just like one of those aliens, big waterhead and all. Apparently I let forth a blood-curdling scream because mother ran over to see what the matter was, and I pointed crying. Can’t remember if she laughed (probably did), but she held my hand, pulled me down the hall, turning lights on all the way down, and proved that there was nothing there, that it was just me. It’s all a blur after that.

And there it is. A five-year-old’s freakout that stayed around for a lifetime. All through my adolescence, I tried sitting down and watching the movie whenever it’d come on TV, just to shed myself of the phobia. Even though some of the “fright” sequences would spook me a little, it was the final contact sequence at the end that would make me cover my head, change the channel, turn off the TV, or look the other way. I just couldn’t get over it…until tonight.

Now that I’m an old man, I get it. I can handle it. Yeah, there’s still some residual creep-factor; always will be when I think of the lights in the sky and the waterheads on the ground. But this time, I was able to judge the movie on its merits, philosophically, technically, cinematically. I was able to keep in my mind that those aliens are kids in rubber masks. That the big aliens are puppets. That the big-eyed kid wasn’t me. It finally makes sense. This finally means something.);

Unmotivation

I’m sitting here at the very tail end of the weekend, and I can’t help but feel like I’ve completely wasted my time. Trying to find the words to say, to put together, to make myself feel like I’ve done something, like I’ve not let 56 hours of my life slip by with nothing to show for it. But it’s hard. There was once a time I could flood the page with meaning and passion. Once, I could fixate on a drawing and produce a thing of beauty. Now, I just want escape. Want to create without having to explain. Want to put out a chunk of creative output without providing a back story. Want to not be distracted. But in my middle age, all I can think of is my job and how, even though it’s great, I just want to turn off and escape it when I’m not at work. And when I’m not at work, I don’t want to work on anything; I just want to wander, to leave, to be unmotivated. And that is the horror of it all. That my motivation has vanished, and that I spent the last 56 hours of my life with nothing to show for it.