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Defeat

Posted byShawn May 31, 2020May 31, 2020

What’s that thing where I have so much to say, but no strength to defend it?

Posted byShawnMay 31, 2020May 31, 2020Posted inJournal

Published by Shawn

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      • On the Occasion of My 43rd Year
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      • The Last of FM
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      • But You Only Want the One Thing You Can't Get
      • Spring Mix, Autumn Chill
    • ► August (2)
      • Islamic Plot of Land
      • Fatigue
    • ► July (3)
      • The Austin Experiment
      • Austin Less Than Three
      • Still Just a Rat in a Cage
    • ► June (3)
      • On Father's Day
      • Nutshell
      • Good To the First Drop
    • ► May (3)
      • Sounds of the Earth
      • Stutter
      • Greasing Wheels
    • ► April (6)
      • Wrapped Up Like a Douche
      • Phaysis.com: Celebrating a Decade of High Hopes
      • Least Career
      • Vintage Inspiration
      • Feaster Unday
      • Carrier Feedback Relay
    • ► March (2)
      • Warm Forward Pie
      • Fiction Distraction
    • ► February (4)
      • A Week With Mixmaster Shufflebutton
      • You Opine to My Chagrin
      • Movement for Warmth
      • Swap-o-Rama (¡UUID Es Me Llamo!)
    • ► January (4)
      • Freeze, Deep
      • Ubuntu Have No Idea How Debian I Am On Freshness
      • What I'd Say If I Were Actually Busy
      • Begin.
  • ►2009 (54)
    • ► December (5)
      • The Decade, In Brief:
      • All I Got for Xmas
      • It Came From Outer State
      • Crockpot Pot Roast (woah yeah!)
      • Ab Use and Neglect
    • ► November (9)
      • My Thanksgiving Holiday (in short)
      • Simple Kind of Man
      • We Are a Part of the Rhythm Frustration
      • XXY
      • Wires 7 Uncertainty Principle
      • On Our Old Acquaintances
      • Professor of the Olde School
      • Dissed Connections
      • Attention Whoring for Dollars
    • ► October (3)
      • How Soon Is Tomorrow
      • Hand the Feed That Bites
      • A Mission of Mercy
    • ► September (7)
      • Two Laptops and a Microphone
      • Pitchfork & the Quease
      • Just So You Know
      • I Missed the Bus
      • Starting Gun
      • Back for More Abuse
      • On the Road to Nowhere
    • ► August (6)
      • Going Home to Labor
      • Red Whine
      • o/` Red, red wi-i-ine / Stay close to me-e-e o/`
      • District 9
      • A Phaysis of Rebirth
      • Hello world!
    • ► July (4)
      • Close Encounters for the Third Time
      • Unmotivation
      • Diarrhea of the Mouth
      • Roller Coaster
    • ► June (4)
      • Step Ladder
      • Ladder
      • Back To the Corner
      • Difficult Technicalities. Please Stand By.
    • ► May (2)
      • ...Lives to Work Another Day
      • Take a Picture. Hope It Lasts Longer.
    • ► April (4)
      • O'er the Years That Have Mov'd Me
      • Leave to Hello
      • Addiction
      • Sunshine and Birds
    • ► March (6)
      • Behold the Sound
      • Surprise!
      • Motion of the Ocean: to the Sea, to the Salt, to the Sinuses.
      • Home By Nowhere
      • Instant Car-ma
      • I Wear My Rockabilly Shirt and Shed a Tear
    • ► February (2)
      • In My Underwear, In a Dream
      • Repairing the Dripping Faucet of the Time Sink
    • ► January (2)
      • Horoscope for Friday, January 30, 2009
      • Habby Nous Yarr. Whut.
  • ►2008 (19)
    • ► December (2)
      • The Macaroni Experiment
      • To Feel Love
    • ► November (2)
      • Who Reads the Watchmen
      • MIDI In the Window
    • ► October (2)
      • Unbroken Glass
      • Subtractive, Reductive
    • ► September (1)
      • On Conversations and Connections
    • ► July (1)
      • It Was Daylight When You Woke Up In Your Ditch
    • ► June (2)
      • Fam on the Lam, and the Van That Moves the Fam Mam
      • Leaving IRC, Shutting Up
    • ► May (1)
      • Jetsom See
    • ► April (2)
      • Eeyore and I Have Something In Common
      • Exit Stage Left
    • ► March (1)
      • Earthquakes and Tidal Waves
    • ► February (2)
      • Failed Bridges Rest Comfortably Under Water
      • Confusion: Not If, but When.
    • ► January (3)
      • I'm being haunted by the good ghosts of 1997.
      • Getting Over It
      • Year-end Egress Into Infirmity
  • ►2007 (19)
    • ► December (1)
      • Taking, Making, Giving: a Shit
    • ► October (1)
      • Too Tired for Idealism
    • ► September (1)
      • Too Much Life
    • ► August (2)
      • Crying for the Weekend
      • Steamed
    • ► July (2)
      • Bruised But Not Broken
      • (Dis)Satisfaction
    • ► June (1)
      • Contained Explosion
    • ► May (2)
      • A Major Change
      • Enigmatic Histories
    • ► April (2)
      • Fortune Falls
      • On My Second Week As 35
    • ► March (3)
      • 2,600 Hertz
      • From Scratch to Soothe the Itch
      • Gaslight in our Front Yard
    • ► February (3)
      • Ciprofessional Confessional
      • Addicted to Your Love
      • New-ness
    • ► January (1)
      • Reticence
  • ►2006 (23)
    • ► December (3)
      • Repose
      • Change of Plans
      • By Air or By Ground, Their Man Will Be Found
    • ► November (2)
      • Jewels and Stones
      • Choo-Choo to You
    • ► October (2)
      • Emo-Bitten
      • And Now, a Setback
    • ► September (3)
      • In Which the Hobbyist Gets Business
      • Drive Away
      • Stretch, Reach, and Replace
    • ► August (3)
      • Dichot's Manifesto
      • Belly In My Beast
      • Crashing Halt. Numbing Pain.
    • ► July (1)
      • Projects, Distractions
    • ► June (1)
      • Speed Bumps
    • ► May (2)
      • On Blocks
      • Snap, Crackle, Pop
    • ► April (1)
      • Return to Health, Return to Same
    • ► March (2)
      • Gastritis, Bad Nightis
      • Blowing Out the Candle
    • ► February (3)
      • Some Thoughts and a Discussion
      • Destruction, Anniversary.
      • A Visit, a Revisit
  • ►2005 (24)
    • ► December (2)
      • Thanksgiving Ruminations from Texarkana
      • The Trip Home, Trip to Ouachita
    • ► September (1)
      • It's Too Hot
    • ► August (1)
      • I Asked For a Change
    • ► July (3)
      • Things Get Stale
      • Something "New"
      • Another 4th on the Down
    • ► June (3)
      • Damn Dirty Hippie
      • OMGWTFHTML
      • Activity Rollup #060205
    • ► May (2)
      • Bonus Means Free
      • Holes In My Head
    • ► April (3)
      • Chilly Weekend
      • It Just Doesn't Stop
      • Domains, Registrars, Transfers Oh My
    • ► March (3)
      • Catching Up
      • Bottom Out, Climb Up
      • Neo Dentis Addendum
    • ► February (3)
      • Uh-huh.
      • Tylenol Kisses
      • You've Made It To the Bonus Round
    • ► January (3)
      • Well, That Went Nowhere
      • Cling Linger Hold Adhere
      • Take Your New Year With Happy Pills
  • ►2004 (41)
    • ► December (1)
      • The Business of My Day Off
    • ► November (5)
      • Returned, Relieved, and Repetitive
      • Riding Solo In Texarkana
      • Moving Along Now
      • The Gentle Question of Faith
      • The Apex Was Early
    • ► October (2)
      • Operation Livecrime
      • On TRF, TXK, ACL, IMG, MP3, and TXT
    • ► September (1)
      • Austin City Limits Music Festival
    • ► August (3)
      • Sequence:
      • Getting Back to Basics
      • Fourth Annual
    • ► July (4)
      • Welcome to Phaysis
      • Giving You the Finger
      • Notes from Denny's #6656
      • On the Road: AUS2TXK 2004/07
    • ► June (4)
      • On the Road -- Twice in One Weekend
      • On the Road: Rush
      • Empty Wallet, Empty Seat
      • Field Report, 31 May, 2004
    • ► May (3)
      • I Will Wrap Around You Like a Circle
      • It's All Uphill
      • Blue, Black, Green
    • ► April (6)
      • He Supports His Own, Too
      • Ever Seen Cats Box?
      • Where Have They Gone?
      • Haplessly Travelled, Unhappily Tired
      • Beware the Easter Goldfish, Children
      • A Better Future, a More Fragrant Past
    • ► March (4)
      • Twenty-Nine, and You Know I'm Lyin'
      • Went to Hellboy and Back
      • Busy Elsewhere
      • Feeling Insecure?
    • ► February (3)
      • The Very Breath of My Body
      • Direction, Breezes, Breathing, and Flight
      • Whatever. No Patience To Be Found Here.
    • ► January (5)
      • The Antisocialist Manifesto
      • The Lap Has Its Warmer Again
      • Tired and Solitary; Peace in the Fatigue
      • The Face of Slow Change
      • What Dreams May Come
  • ►2003 (71)
    • ► December (8)
      • Another Transition
      • Xmas Day in Hindsight
      • A Christmash Mirrakle *hic*
      • Merry Christmerch!
      • It's not flu, but...
      • Hello!
      • Women still turn me on-
      • Tanksgibbing Reevyoo
    • ► November (4)
      • AUS2TXK 11.26.2003
      • Retouch
      • Paper update and other updates
      • Local paper nixes poxes
    • ► October (4)
      • Bent Up, Pent Up, and Doubled Over
      • Turn the eyes towards the ground
      • Nevermind the afterburn
      • Gettin' Ill Wit da Chunky D
    • ► September (4)
      • One Step Up, 200 Steps Back
      • Car Puts Brakes on Weekend
      • Type O-Negative is My Blood Type
      • Ketchup.
    • ► August (14)
      • Day Whatever
      • Day 17
      • Days 13 through 16
      • Gentle Is the Noise, Painful Is the Chaos
      • Days 11 and 12
      • Day 10
      • Day Nein!
      • w.d 1.1
      • One Week
      • Cause I'm Radioactive!
      • Days Five and Six
      • One Hell of a Week
      • Days Three and Four
      • Day Two
    • ► July (7)
      • Day One
      • Three Year Anniversary
      • Bitter Sweet Salty Sour Sweet
      • Keepin' up with the Bones
      • All your Bass are Belong to Neighbor
      • Skrowerif the Fugnificent
      • Distances and Reflections
    • ► June (5)
      • Bored with life
      • My State of Affairs
      • Yawn Two Three Four
      • If only I had left five minutes earlier...
      • Weekend schmeekend
    • ► May (8)
      • No Quiet Streets Under Our Feets
      • Voice from the past
      • Deh goes da neighbahoo'
      • Ugh
      • The time is near - We're here to cheer!
      • Well that was plum weird...
      • Is this week already half-over?
      • Sunday update
    • ► April (7)
      • A phaysis of discernable changes
      • Eeyore is 40, and I feel fine.
      • It's a ROLLERCOASTER!
      • Six Hours to Home
      • Laid-out flat
      • Little Discoveries, Great Voyages
      • Supplication and the Start from One
    • ► March (10)
      • Oh, what a night...
      • It's...
      • Ok. Time to get things under way
      • Is gonna be ah-kay? Ah-Kay!
      • o/~...Only the lonely...o/~
      • Ah, saturdays
      • Ah, boredom.
      • Hi there!
      • huh?
      • testsetsetsetsetsetset
  • ►2002 (4)
    • ► October (1)
      • 2002.10.30 (from the archives)
    • ► September (2)
      • 2002.09.27 (from the archives)
      • 2002.09.18 (from the archives)
    • ► April (1)
      • 2002.04.09 (from the archives)
  • ►2000 (3)
    • ► March (2)
      • [page2] phaysis (from the archives)
      • [page2] phaysis (from the archives)
    • ► January (1)
      • Welcome to Phaysis (from the archives)
  • ►1999 (19)
    • ► December (1)
      • [page2] : more news about [phaysis] (from the archives)
    • ► November (1)
      • Welcome to Phaysis (from the archives)
    • ► September (4)
      • 1999-09-27 The Farm: thoughts (from the archives)
      • 1999-09-27 The Farm: page2 (from the archives)
      • 1999-09-02 The Farm: thoughts (from the archives)
      • 1999-09-02 The Farm: page2 (from the archives)
    • ► August (2)
      • 1999-08-08 The Farm: current news (from the archives)
      • 1999-08-08 The Farm: page2 (from the archives)
    • ► July (6)
      • 1999-07-29 The Farm: projects (from the archives)
      • 1999-07-24 The Farm: current news (from the archives)
      • 1999-07-24 The Farm: page2 (from the archives)
      • 1999-07-16 The Farm: projects (from the archives)
      • 1999-07-16 The Farm: current news (from the archives)
      • 1999-07-16 The Farm: page2 (from the archives)
    • ► June (2)
      • 1999-06-28 The Farm (from the archives)
      • 1999-06-13 The Farm (from the archives)
    • ► May (2)
      • 1999-05-19 The Farm: Lucas Day (from the archives)
      • 1999-05-11 The Farm (from the archives)
    • ► April (1)
      • 1999-04-23 The Farm (from the archives)
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