Cannot shake the feeling that I’m wrong. Somewhere, I made the wrong choice, and everything afterwards is a byproduct of that fault. It would be nice if I knew, if I could navelgaze enough to determine where it happened, or if I could have the foresight to see where to get back on track. But I don’t have that level of facility. I suspect very few adults do.
Keep wanting to close my eyes and walk away, as if all the problems, rifts, troubles, stresses, trials would vanish the moment I leave. But you and I know that’s not the case; it’s not ever the case. The desire to walk away and start anew is the cause and the source of most of these problems. Instead of dealing with them face-on, I’m doing the glazed stare at the horizon, letting the problems pile at my feet, sticking me to the ground.