Sleepy. Mellow. My thinking is currently numb, quiet, and studious.
About two weeks ago I reached burnout. I have so many projects and ideas swirling around and perpetually ongoing. Nothing finished. Nothing usable. There’s so much work to programming, and there’s so little time in my off-work life. If I was paid to do this, I’d hate it, sure, but I’d get more done. The best times of my day for programming would be during the day when I’m on the clock at work, but there’s none of that for me, none. I work at a printshop. So when I spend most of my free time either in front of my computer or chained to my laptop, I can’t think about my code because the very code that I wrote only weeks ago is now foreign to me. I spend so much time just staring at the code, glazed, because I can’t stay acquainted with it, I can’t devote large chunks of time to it. So I poke a few lines here, spend a few minutes getting lost, and then I spend a few days away from it either by schedule, disinterest, or inability to find a place conducive to writing the code. So there’s my burnout. There’s my brain fry.
So, what now? Chrontium development is suspended until further notice. My website engine is on indefinite hiatus. Those and like 10 other projects are all back-burnered until I get some basic groundwork figured out again, until I get my stuff together, until I feel like making headway again.
My apologies to anyone that this may dishearten.
On the upside, though, I picked up a book on XML. Something offline to help keep me going. I’ve been wanting to figure this XML thing out for a while, and finally I found a book that helped me make sense of it. XML is pretty technical, but it’s human-readable. It’s a system of marking up regular text into what each piece of text actually is. If you’re publishing a paper you can, say, put the title inside a title tag, and the introduction in an introduction tag, and later down the road a person or a program can read those and go, “Ok, this is the title. I’d like to make all my titles have 24-point bold text.” Through the use of style sheets or XSL, you can do that. Pretty cool stuff. Very “object oriented” – everything is enclosed in something else; it’s all “tree-like” in programatic structure. Nice.
If anything, reading up on XML has helped me keep an interest in programming, if only for the pure “objects and containers” aspect. Figure out the most basic units of function and build from there. I’ve begun attacking certain pieces of code, just experimentally. Nothing towards any specific ends. That’s when programming is fun, I suppose.
Tonight, I took my mellow, quiet mood and stopped by Cheapo Records to pick up some fresh music. I decided to go with today’s Cure thread and beelined for The Cure’s “Pornography” (1982) which, after tonight’s first spinning, is rather good. Essential listening for any Cure fan. I then went cruising up and down the cd bins when another band name appeared in my head, and I had to check it out. The band is Slowdive, and I know very little about them other than repeated recommendations that I should listen to them. I grabbed their cd “Souvlaki” and took it to the counter for a test listen, and the clerk was like, “Dude, just go ahead and buy it. It’s that good.” After hearing parts of a few songs, I was clear on the matter: “Sold.” I stopped off at a hidey-hole of a restaurant for some playing with code while I ripped the two CD’s. They’re in my playlist now, and they perfectly fit my mood.
Blue, black and green.
Melancholy, emptiness, and hope.