To be fair, the friendship I destroyed was mended. You can still see the chips, cracks, and glue smudges, but it’s functional again. It took some difficult talking, some private thinking, and a mutual redefinition to make it work. A little bit of distance is good medicine, too. We’ll revisit the matter in a few days.
I never did learn how to dance without stepping on toes.
Tonight, I destroyed a friendship. Good work, Shawn.
I found out who I am and what I’m made of. It’s not pretty.
I think the fact that I have so many outlets for my creative commentary is diluting the power of my words down to the consistency of senseless drivel. There are “Really Deep Thoughts”, there is “This Is Ponderous”, there are moments of Snark and Witticism, and then there’s useless, wasted, disposable. The more time I spend dropping wordbombs on Facebook, or playing ping-pong on IM, or building sand castles on my blog, the less time I spend weighing the universe, the less time I consider my place in the world, the less time I have for big ideas.
It’s a shame, a damnable shame.
Even after quitting IRC, most of my computer time is still spent waiting to snap my wit on someone’s leg like a bear trap. What does that get me? Absolutely nothing but a slim notion in some people’s minds that I’m funny. That doesn’t get me far. A man is known by what he does; I don’t want the last fading recollections of my name to be that I was a funny mofo. I’d rather be remembered for making good music, or writing good stories, or crafting good poetry.
There are better uses for my creativity.