Why do I settle for failure? Why does anybody settle for failure? Putting up with failure for so long. Why do it? Powerlessness? Tolerance for bullshit? Passive aggression? Hoping it’ll get better while investing nothing in it. Things fail, and we just go along with it. No fight left. No strength. It’s not patience, it’s just muffled intolerance.
I just…settle…for less than the best.
Is this a function of turning the corner into middle age? What’s with the fear of rising up to Change Things? Fear of failure is inviting failure. I want to keep going along with the shitty things in my life, and that is most troubling to me. It hurts to make change; it costs a lot of effort. I know the rewards are worth more than the investment. I know all this shit. So why remain? Why persist?
It was only a matter of time. I have a generic name; one of the most generic names anyone could have. I get reminded of this every time I do a search for it. Currently, a Google search for my name ranks this site as second in the list (results may vary). Guess whose site is before mine?
Today, I got a message through my Contact page from a new visitor down in…Down Under.
hey there Shawn
not sure if you will get this or not but I had to contact you because you inspire me
I adore your vineyard background and your music is fantastic.
My email address is xxxxxxxxx @ xxxxxxx . com
I would love to talk to you more abotu yoru music
jason, (also a gay Christian in Australia)
I was crippled with laughter for a few minutes after reading this. Yes, I’m an asshole. Jason (and all you others), you have mistaken me for a homosexual Contemporary Christian singer of the same name. Make no mistake: I am not him. Please observe context; use critical thinking skills to determine if I am that guy before you say “Hello”. Maybe I’m not using enough profanity or anti-religious sentiment to make it well-apparent. I must be slipping.
Thanks for the compliments on the vine image, Jason, but I doubt if you have heard any of my music. I doubt you’d want to hear it. I hope you don’t take it personally that you are the mounted deer head on my fireplace mantle. Someone has to take the fall.