The Story
Nefarious
This story is a part of me...deeply
In the distance I see nothing but you standing there with open arms waiting, wanting to hold me forever and until the next life and after. I can hear the next time you speak before you even speak it. I can hold my breath until the next time you breathe because you know if you do not that I will surely die. But, you love me too much to see that happen. Your thoughts come into my mind like a wind blowing across the sea to bring you home to me. Your voice carries across me as I lay my body down on the ground waiting to kiss your feet. Your hands reaching out to touch me in the light distance of the moon by the river I see you... waiting, wanting to hold me again.
The more I see you in my mind, the more I feel you around me in time, the more I choose to love you the more I do. Please, don't leave me waiting, waiting another day just to be with you again... come to me through the gaps in time, come to me through the winds of tomorrow. I will want you forever and I want you still as I did then. The portal is open, the day is new, the way of my heart has not changed and will not, for I love you. I remember the day you smiled at me; that was the day that I fell in love with the sun, for it reminded me of you, and your smile. I remember that day that you walked me across the river for that was the day I fell in love with the water, for it reminded me of you. I remember the day that you picked a flower for me, for that was the day that I fell in love with smelling them.
I remember that fateful day when I came home to you and you were gone. Nothing left but a note saying that you would return, but alas, you did not. I waited and waited and nothing ever came from you, not a word nor a sign. I waited and waited and nothing in return. I asked around about you but the others did not know. I walked around for you looking for days, even sometimes going without food and water in order to find you, but nothing to my eyes did I see anywhere near me a sign of you. I thought to myself,"Have I lost my love? Have I lost the man that I have found time and time again?" I did not know then.
I remember the day I found your hat underneath a tree a few miles from the farm. It was covered in dust as it has been there a long time. I looked around hoping to find you for you never left without your hat, for that was the kind of man you were. I looked until dark came and found nothing for you. I remember that night for that was the night of many nights that I would come to hate.
As I was walking home in the dark, I saw a little light ahead of me. I titled my head and walked toward it. As I was looking at the light I saw a man walking; I did not know it was you trying to walk towards me. I waited as I did for the many weeks before that. As you came closer I saw that you had been badly wounded, so I ran to you, holding you, kissing your pain away and feeling your weak heart. How would I explain the way you disappeared from me? I did not know what to say to the others. As you looked at me with your soft, sad eyes of the many shades of the Autumn trees it turns, I knew that I had to let you go. I tried to ask you, "Why did you leave?" but, you were too weak to answer, so I did not ask. You caressed my hand one last time and mouthed the words, "I love you forever more and thereafter." And as your grip slowly eased from my hand I knew that you had gone and I have lost you but I knew in my soul and in my fate that I would find you again and be with you in the next lifetime.
From that time on I have lived many times but only that lifetime I found true love and happiness but also true mystery, for I can live a thousand lives and would still not know why he left me in the life that I first fell in love with him. But, I can look back and still remember the way I love the water, the sun and the flowers around me everyday. For I look in the sun as I stand in the water, holding a flower and if I close my eyes I know that he is with me as he was before, the love in this life and the next...
I smile and the water ripples and the flower falls...
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