Hate living in apartments. No idea how badly my sound carries through the walls, but I’ve had a history of carrying a grudge against my neighbors over how much I can hear them. I have to wonder if they can hear just as much of me as I do them, so I constrict myself and …
Category Archives: Journal
Henry Wordsworthless Longsuffering
Even in my booze-fueled state, I’ve made a sobering realization that most of the poetry I wrote in the 90’s is absolute shit. We’re talking creepy, sketchy, pedestrian. Wow. Damn. I mean even if it were to be put into context, what the fuck was I thinking? I mean I was in my 20’s, and …
Rails, Ride
Found a DVD copy of Linklater’s “Before Sunrise”. Watched it the other night and fell in love again. Takes me back to the summer of ’95. College. My friend Pam called me up one night (along with my girlfriend-at-the-time Donna) to come over to hang out, have snacks, and watch this movie. It was always …
Ugly Face
I shouldn’t do visualization exercises during yoga. Just shouldn’t. Today we did a five-armed blessing thing, more like a guided meditation. Silently, we’d visualize someone, and then silently give them our blessing. “_____, I wish for you to be happy, healthy, and wise.” Innocuous, and is supposed to help us extend compassion to others. The …
Bent Up
Agitated beyond need. They tell me to be kind, forgiving, compassionate to myself. That sounds nice. Pretty words. But tonight’s yoga practice has left me agitated, unwilling to stop feeling embarrassed for not getting it, for not understanding, for not having any sense of what to do with my body. I have just enough awareness …