Ugly Face

I shouldn’t do visualization exercises during yoga. Just shouldn’t. Today we did a five-armed blessing thing, more like a guided meditation. Silently, we’d visualize someone, and then silently give them our blessing. “_____, I wish for you to be happy, healthy, and wise.” Innocuous, and is supposed to help us extend compassion to others. The […]

Bent Up

Agitated beyond need. They tell me to be kind, forgiving, compassionate to myself. That sounds nice. Pretty words. But tonight’s yoga practice has left me agitated, unwilling to stop feeling embarrassed for not getting it, for not understanding, for not having any sense of what to do with my body. I have just enough awareness […]

Unrested Sophistron

I am bored and restless, which is a bad way to be on a quiet night without enough energy to make things happen. Most of the people I know are occupied by All Tonight’s Parties, so the usual haunts are quiet. Drove around out of boredom, ended up back at my house. The saddest voyages […]

Yogi On the Path

Ripples and troubles with my yoga training. Good sessions, not so good sessions. Perplexed. I have limits. Physical limits. Things that are tight that should not be. Joints that should bend but do not. Mental limits. There are a lot of things at once to pay attention to. Posture, the roll of the leg, the […]


I wonder sometimes if my role in this world is to add counterbalance to the chipper, positive, hopeful, blind-to-the-consequences world. It is my lot, apparently, to state the things that nobody wants to acknowledge, to inject reality into the little platitudes that we say to ourselves and to each other to prop up our false […]