(Phaysis)

So yeah, I’ve had a dumb weekend. Friday was ok, but saturday found me in a hell of a bad mood. Sat inside most of the day going between snoozing in my chair, cleaning the house, reading documentation on the Ruby programming language, and feeling bad about my life. Moody McGivesafuck. Brooded over myself as I changed venue; left the house at sunset and ambled over to Epoch where I absorbed myself in journal writing and reading more on Ruby. In one weekend I’ve read nearly the entire manual. Finally, my friend Jonathon came around and we discussed things; felt better about my current state.

By this morning, I felt fine. Took my time getting out of bed. An hour of reading the Internet did its job on distancing me from my snoozy feelings of a pure morning. Did laundry while making lunch, then read some more Ruby docs. Got dressed and went to Epoch. More reading. It’s my goal to learn enough Ruby to proficiently use it with Ruby On Rails to build a site for a friend of mine. After several hours there, I started walking; took the long way home in the crisp air. Autumn is approaching, and this full moon is making things nice. I haven’t driven my car since I got home from work on Friday; it’s a weird feeling. As long as my car’s not up to snuff, it’s in my best interest to let it sit in the parking lot whenever I can. It’ll still drive decently, but the smoke, the smoke.

So I’ve still got this outstanding dental issue. There’s the molar that needs a root canal. That’s still gotta get done. I’m fine with that; I’m fairly certain I know where I’m going for that. But just an hour ago I discovered something else that may’ve happened this week since my recent dentist visit: I noticed in the mirror that my crooked incisor tooth is broken. There’s a crack right across it on the front; may’ve happened while eating, since the tooth has a filling on the backside. This scares the shit out of me. I don’t know what procedure is done for cases like that. Bonding? Patching up? Removal?

I’m becoming a poor man, and my bad teeth are to blame.

Scary shit.

Addendum:
Ok, so what I thought was a crack in a tooth was just the edge of the tooth-colored remnants of dinner. After brushing, it’s no longer there. I feel like a fool. I still need the root canal though.

I saw a dentist a few days ago; my right teeth have been bothering me for a few weeks. Aside from a deep need for a deep cleaning, he gave me some bad news. It’s time again for a root canal.

This is on a tooth that was patched up last year at Castle Dental. Remember my travails with all that dental nonsense? It seems the prior dentist either didn’t remove the whole cavity before doing the filling or he didn’t do the filling well. Either way, I have a cavity that’s just about reached the nerve, a filling that’s coming loose, and I’m screwed bigtime.

My dentist referred me to a specialist in Westlake to do the actual root canal procedure; I called that office yesterday to set up an appointment and got a quote: $743, which is absolute BS.

“Oh no no no, that won’t do. You said you accept my insurance, don’t you?”

“Yes, we’re a contracted agent, but you’ll have to pay out of pocket, and then your insurance may reimburse you according to their policies. If necessary, we could even let you go half-and-half on payments.”

“Still, I can’t do that. Cancel the appointment.”

So today, I called my insurance. It’s true: the specialist is a contracted agent, and they accept my insurance, but that only gives me a 20% discount on services since they’re a specialist. Any regular dentist would fall under the usual insurance fee scale meaning my copay would be $212, a much more agreeable sum. So I’m left with searching for a regular dentist who does root canals. I know of one clinic, but I don’t know if I want to deal with Castle again. Their work on my first root canal was prompt, in-house, and covered under my plan, but I’d have to deal with Castle Dental again.

My tooth is starting to hurt. Time to make a decision soon.

Well, here I am writing a log with four new holes just four days old in my mouth where my wisdoms used to be. It’s something different, I’ll say that much. Had the procedure done on wednesday; decided that I had enough money to get all four removed at once, so I did. The aching left wisdoms on monday helped in that decision.

Don’t remember much from the procedure; remember being beside-myself nervous before, and the slight freaking out when I first felt the sedative take hold, but after a few seconds I just didn’t care anymore. I vaguely remember at least two of the pulls. Vaguely remember the oral surgeon using a drill or something similar on a right wisdom, but I don’t know which. I remember stirring after a pull, grabbing my pen from my pocket and scribbling on my hand what i knew read “KEEP TEETH”, and I remember the doc and his assistant saying, “Woah, what’s he doin’? Heh.” and “It’s ok, Michael, just relax, we’re almost done.” I remember coming around after the procedure while the assistant was cramming more gauze into my new holes, and remember looking at my hand to verify that I wrote correctly only to discover I gained a new language resembling sanskrit during the procedure. My requesting effort was fruitless: the teeth had already been placed in the biohazard bin.

After filling my prescription for hydrocodone and (oddly) amitryptaline (an antidepressive drug sometimes used for pain), I went home, changed the gauze, took my drugs, and proceeded to crash out for the rest of the day and night, waking up to redose and change gauze. Around 8am the next morning I knew I wasn’t able to work that day, so I called in. Slept and lazed around. Attempted to eat some yogurt and drink a meal-substitute shake. Still weak, I got a call from work asking for help in setting up a job, so I volunteered to go in, helped set it up, then left and got some mashed potatoes and mac & cheese from KFC on my way home. Rented “Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle” and “Napoleon Dynamite” (why haven’t you watched these yet?). Watched “Harold and Kumar…”, laughed a lot, and went to bed.

Worked friday, still kinda weak and undernourished, and in pain but in decent spirits. Stayed home that night, watched “Napoleon Dynamite”, looked up historic photos of Austin roadways. That’s pretty much it.

Saturday started well, then continued into the foul. Dunno what happened, just got angry, depressed, mad at myself, etcetera. I had made plans to go to Eeyore’s Birthday and to my friends Ed and Mel’s baby shower, but both were scrapped. I just wasn’t worth a damn to myself or anyone on Saturday afternoon, so I did nothing. Sorry, guys. After some research it occurred to me that the small 3-pill prescription I had for amitryptaline (remember, it’s a psychiatry drug) could’ve been to blame.

With not much food and growing weaker by nightfall, I cleaned myself up, went out and had a decent meal, the first where I had actual hard food, then after the nourishment I felt fine enough to go to Spiderhouse for some tea and maybe some company. The chatter was light and I didn’t stay long, but it helped lift my mood. Went home and decided that the disarray on my desk and around my room just wouldn’t cut it, so I pulled out a sack and started sorting the bad piles into trash and good piles. Now that the desk is clean, the room is clean. Lit a votive lantern and nodded off to sleep.

Today, woke up at 9:30am to the pain in my upper teeth. The 6 fillings are still bothering me; I’m still living on tylenol. So it’s my alarm clock. After some breakfast (which required chewing), the pain numbed itself down and I was in better spirits. Chatted online, then got dressed, grabbed my bike, and rode off for the day to get some lunch and tea. Late afternoon I left the coffeeshop and rode to Cheapo’s, picked up the new Garbage album (which is good), and my bike and I caught the bus home where I still remain.

Tomorrow I return to work; so far, it’s shaping up to be an uneventful workweek. No dentist appointments. No having to cut out early. Hopefully my holes will grow closed soon; the clots are still there and it appears the gums are closing in underneath. Hopefully my molars will stop hurting soon as I get accustomed to eating harder, chewier food (believe me, if you don’t give your teeth a workout, they’ll let you down). Hopefully I can get my life back to normal soon. My biggest hope is that this season of dental despair is over.

After a nice, warm week, a cold front blew through on Friday evening and chilled us down. It’s been a decent weekend for going out; granted it’s been overcast and rain has been a threat. But today I overcame gravity and answered a deep urge to get out with my bicycle. It’s my second ride since I knocked the winter dust off of it. Really feels kinda nice riding again.

You just get that urge, y’know?

My teeth are doing better. The right fillings aren’t so sensitive anymore which is fortunate because the lefts are still tender from the week-old fillings. I’m having my right wisdoms removed this wednesday, so hopefully my left molars will be fine enough to eat on. After the wisdom holes heal up, I’ll be good to go until I can afford to get the left wisdoms removed. And then hopefully the dental drama will be over with.

I called my sister last wednesday to wish her a happy 28th birthday (that means I’m getting old, too). Surprise of all surprises, her cellphone is out of service. Looks to me like she and her hubby haven’t been paying the bill. I might try later this week, but shit at least I tried. Y’know?

Work is picking up. After a tedious week of very little to do, but with a ton of stuff just waiting on customer go-ahead, it’s finally avalanching and we have rush jobs and lots of stuff to do. Lots of ass is being kicked.

This Saturday is Eeyore’s Birthday Party down at Pease Park. It’s a rite of spring, a hippy holdover for 42 years running. It’s dirty, it’s hot, it’s dusty, it’s sweaty, there are massive drum circles, reggae and rasta bands, people in costumes, people wearing little more than shorts and body paint, the smell of cannabis floats in the air, and the cops just walk around and not care.

This is an event that I look forward to months in advance. My whole regimen of allergy shots is inspired by being able to go to EB without allergy problems. I bought a bike last year so I could ride it down there. And this year it is my hope that my mouth is well enough to let me go. I’d hate to miss it 2 years in a row.

Ok. Sun’s setting soon; should wrap this up and ride on home.

I know it’s sounding like a broken record. That’s what bothers me most about it. My teeth are hurting again. I had a visit with my dentist on monday to get three of my teeth (on the upper right) filled, which he dutifully did. Then at dinner I discovered that my teeth were now more temperature sensitive than before. Great. I’ll acclimate.

Well, the pain started yesterday. Pain like I had a tooth infection, or whatever. Pain almost like the dull, joy-killing pain I had when I first had tooth problems back in February. Almost the same tooth, almost the same spot, which is impossible: that tooth is now dead after the root canal. This tells me a few things: there’s an infection at the roots ($), or my wisdom teeth really need to come out now ($$$), or the filling procedure left me open for infection.

So, for the moment, I’ll go back to the Tylenol and deal with it until my appointment next monday to fill the other 3 cavities. I’ll see if the dentist has anything to say about the pain. I know I can’t afford to pay the $523 upfront cost to get 4 wisdoms pulled. But given that next wednesday is payday and that the oral surgeon makes the visit to my dentist’s office on wednesdays, maybe I can swing getting the two right wisdoms pulled for half the price.

Damn, this sucks.