(Phaysis)

I hate Ciprofloxacin. It’s an antibiotic, one of the harshest. Most prescriptions of the stuff last a week. My prescription, however, lasts a month, and I’ve been on it one week, long enough to have it doing its ill effects. Not my first time on it; hopefully it is my last. UTI‘s are a bitch.

One of the worst side effects of cipro, aside from stomach cramping, excess acid production, the requirement to supplement your digestive bacteria with yogurt, chance of tendon ruptures, fatigue, and insomnia, is that cipro makes me paranoid. Not “the feds are out to get me” paranoia, but the “o god, I didn’t say that the wrong way, did I?” kind. Sure enough, it makes my social awkwardness that much worse. Like I needed the help.

Typically, I can go to the coffeeshop and hang out with others or alone. If someone comes to visit my table, I can greet them, invite them to sit, and we chat. Or, if I visit a friend at theirs, the chatter is good and friendly. Not so on cipro. I kinda stand there and watch it all happen. I see myself doing it, but the thought never occurs to me to quit the creepiness. I just see the unfitting awkwardness, get uncomfortable, and excuse myself as I walk away. I don’t like it; not in the least.

Sometimes I think I’m turning into that old, creepy man who’s got the stink on him that everyone can smell. The guy people put up with only because he’s a customer. And that’s the paranoia talking; I must keep that in mind at all times while I’m on this stuff. Sure, when I grow up I want to be a dirty old man, but don’t want to be a creepy old man. There’s a marginal difference between the two: one is more socially adept; the other just lecherously leers from an uncomfortable distance.

I feel you.
I stretch and reach, push forward
And straight for the gut you punch, pinch, jab.
I completely feel you.

Once, we were in harmony.
Now, you complain of my years of abuse.
Feed back the pain I fed to you.
Harmony went dissonant.

The moment I think of our unsteady peace,
You strike out at me.
Relief comes in waves; hope, in unsteady moments
Punctuated by twists, pangs.

What can I do to make things right?
What can I take?
I bow down, double over, hug you in some kind of embrace.
Will you accept my apologies?

Several days later, I’m doing better. My stomach is still a bit in-and-out, but overall, I’m better. I’m starting to think less that I got a stomach virus, and thinking more that maybe I’m producing too much stomach acid, or I’m getting an ulcer. I do know that my recent love for drinking coffee couldn’t be helping. So I dunno; I’m just taking care of myself and getting better.

So Kasbah is open. It’s the new Moroccan-themed coffeeshop/teahouse that opened up in the old Mojo’s Daily Grind building. I’m still not too sure about this place. The decor is extremely different than what I was accustomed to, but it could be tolerable. Obviously, there’s a heavy Moroccan feel to the place. The main sitting room is divided up into three spaces, and each space has some chairs, some tables, low-slung couches, stained glass lamps and rugs. The sections are seperated by tapestries, curtains and freestanding screens. There’s more furniture and wall panels being shipped from Morocco; the owners also own a Moroccan import/antique shop which they will be moving into the second floor of this building, so they have connections on furniture.

For once, the tea isn’t horrible; they know how to brew it without making it cloudy. Finally, a place that can do iced tea passably well. The wireless is OK, but will be improved in the future. Also, and this is a major winning point (and key to my first visit tonight), is that this place is 24/7. So, combined with the future prospect of Epoch opening up within a few months near my house, which will be 24/7, it will be nice to have some kind of choice for late-night entertainment.

I’m even running into some of the old Mojo’s crowd, which is just strange, strange. It’s funny how we didn’t waste any time coming back.

If you have a weak stomach, stop reading. Thanks.

I’m not too sure about it, but I think I’m sick. Got a little nauseous last night, but settled my stomach. Today, got nauseated at work, and it kinda settled in for the long haul. One of my coworkers was out with it today, and will likely be out tomorrow. Another one got over it earlier this week. So I know where it came from.

Right now, I’m both growlingly hungry and unnervingly nauseated. Between a one and a five (five being throwing up) I’m oscillating between one and two. If I can stay there overnight or go back to a zero, it’ll be great. I’m starting to get a little thirsty, though I’m afraid to start sipping on anything; the water I was drinking earlier today was churning my stomach. So, I have some Gatorade, and I’ll see where that takes me.

Vomiting is one of those things I just do not abide by. We do not get along. I’d rather have it go the other way than up by any means necessary. I have a brand new bottle of Emetrol to help me out – this stuff is incredible. Sucrose, fructose, phosphoric acid. Think “Coca Cola” without the cola flavor or carbonated water. Stuff that diabetics can’t take, the sugar content is so high. It’s there if I need it.

I was supposed to have dinner tonight with my roomate; his first night off in 10, and he was going to take me to Chinese buffet for birthday dinner. After I came home and he woke up, I gave him the news. I apologized, and I hope he understands; this buildup and then “I’m sick.” If I’m better tomorrow, we might eat then.

But until then, I’m just hanging out at the house. Trying to not lose my mind nor my lunch.

I am tired of my stomach. If I could have it cheaply removed surgically and still survive without a stomach (and survive the surgery) I probably would do it. I laid down for bed last night and within five minutes I was sitting back up and taking care to not lose my dinner. I turned my lamp on, sat up and focused on breathing. After a ginger candy and some time to steady myself, I made the second attempt for sleep. I felt slightly better this morning, but my rough stomach has been with me all day.

I was talking with “BC” about my stomach problems during a break at work, and he mentioned that I quite possibly have acid reflux or something. Said he found that those who have A-R and smoke are significantly increasing their chances for throat cancer because the acid leaves the throat open for carcinogenic tampering. That was a wake-up call to me. We discussed using Prilosec now that it’s over the counter; he suffers the same thing I do, just not as bad. Said he’s planning on getting a box of it to see how it does.

So, earlier tonight, while at the store, I got a box. Fourteen-day treatment goes for $10. All I know is that a few months ago I got a prescription of it from my doctor and I gave it a pass thinking he just wrote the scrip in order to please his pharmaceutical rep. I probably should’ve filled the order; at least that’s how I feel now while I’m sitting with a sour stomach, rough throat, and churning esophagus. (Yuck, I know.) So, I will be taking my first pill in the morning.

Speaking of morning, tomorrow morning I have to get up early (on a Saturday, no less) to pack up my car and head off to Texas Renaissance Festival for the weekend. My presence is required (Hi Maeralin!), so I dutifully will be going, stomach funk or not. This’ll be my first go at TRF since 2000; it’ll be nice to see what’s changed about it, and see a few old friends from that year (Hi Pete!). And most importantly I’ll be seeing my old friend “Maeralin” who I have not seen in the thirteen years since the summer after our high school graduation in 1990. We’ve been talking online for about 4 years now, and it’s good to finally be able to see her.

As much as I hate traveling, once I get on the road, I’ll be more gung-ho about it. It’s just the preparation, the packing, the looking ahead, the expenditure, the energy it takes to do it, and the nerve-wracking anticipation of dealing with the unexpected on the open road.

Time to gather my things and collect myself for this weekend. I’ll be camping out Saturday night, which I’ve not done in 3 years, and wouldn’t you know it the weatherman says it looks like rain.

It looks like rain. :sighs: Wish me luck.