(Phaysis)

Things haven’t been peachy as of late. Last weekend’s case of sinusitis and bronchitis put me off my course, and I’ve decided to make some serious healthy-living choices. I’m doing better, but my mood this past week hasn’t been the same. More in a frump, so to speak.

Even though I’m not too happy with my job at times, I’m more serious about it now, more involved in the work there, more with my head in the game. As long as I can run the machines, as long as I can get away to work on my own, I’m happy and more confident. If it’s just me to deal with, then my world is conquered.

My laptop has been at the Dell service depot in Memphis, TN since monday, so as of now I’ve been without it for coming on a full week. I’m not too happy with the pace of service. They are replacing the motherboard in the hopes that it will fix the docking station problem I’ve been having. They’ll also replace the keyboard for the missing spacer key, the dvd-rom drive for the broken faceplate, and potentially the LCD screen for the “hotspot” that’s developing at the bottom, just above the heat-producing, backlight-powering voltage inverter.

The official word from Dell is that it’ll take 3 to 5 business days; my friends who work there told me around 2. Come tomorrow, it’ll officially be 5 days, and if Airborne Express doesn’t show up to my job tomorrow with a package for me, Dell will have hell to pay. I’ve been without my main mode of communication to my friends for a whole week, and it’s seriously bothering me. There was a reason why I asked Dell to pick it up on Monday instead of the Friday before: I didn’t want to endure a weekend without it. Well, that happened anyway. I was complaining about the issue with our secretary at work at close of the day on Friday, and she remarked, while waving hands mockingly, “Oh my, I’ll have to actually talk to people, oh no!” It may be funny to her, but it’s not to me. I do more with that machine than chat and browse. I actually write code and do work.

So, in the absence of my laptop diversion, I’ve been spending more time at home on my desktop computer, trying to write code (and being productive), and when I go out, I’m kind of reconnecting with some of my offline friends and disconnecting with my online friends. It’s disturbing that now that I’m in the “real world” I’m closing down, looking off into the distance, and not really wanting to talk at all. Right now, people can go to hell; my patience is short, and I’m not into bullshit. And, for once, I can find some kind of clarity in that. I’m not trying to “keep up” with people, I’m not trying to get into their lives or have them get into mine, I’m just going along on my own way. I pay them no mind.

And I’m writing a journal entry about it. I’m full of oxymorons.

I did treat myself yesterday, though. I took care of something I’ve been lacking and needing for a while. I made the heady resolution to go to a car audio shop, browse their selection, and I bought a new car tuner/cd player. It’s a 200 watt tuner from Dual. By happenstance, I found a unit that had everything I demanded; it fit my tight specifications: a volume knob instead of volume buttons, external line-in for my laptop or someone’s mp3 player, and adjustable bass and treble. The usability factor is seriously high on my list; I’m not going to buy a unit that required me to take my eyes off of the road when I’m driving 85mph in order to change the station or play with the equalization. So I took my new purchase, some CD’s from the apartment, and my toolbox and went to the parking lot behind my job and did the installation myself. I preferred the relative obscurity and anonymity of doing it there than the “I know where you live and park” danger of installing it in front of my less-than-trusty neighbors in my own parking lot. The install took about two hours, and it sounds great. Went on a long drive last night. I’m happy with it.

So there it is, folks. There’s my snapshot of my current life. But, as always, there’s more under the surface, more that I’m not letting on, but it’s only available for those who scratch.

I am sick.

Friday morning, I woke up with the back of my throat swollen and puffy. I swallowed as hard as I could, made the best of it, and went on about my day. It got better over time.

Fast forward to around 8 last night. After dealing with sneezes and super-dry nose all day (figuring it’s the dry, dusty weather), my nose starts running, my throat swells up again, and I feel ill. Dammit. So, I put on my shoes, went to HEB, and got a bunch of juices, chicken soups, and some cold/flu medication. Got home, made a bowl of soup (with much extra minced garlic), took a vitamin, took the cold med, and waited for sleep.

This morning, I was still no better. It was as if I had done nothing at all. Damn. So I went to the doctor. He said I had sinusitis, and gave me a scrip for some serious drugs. One I’m supposed to take 2 pills twice a day for 2 days, then 1 pill twice a day until the bottle’s empty (these things are horse-pills!). This is my antibiotic. The other is a steroid with a really wierd dosing schedule: first day, 6 pills at scheduled times, the second day is five pills, third day is four, and so on until my last day of 1 pill. And I’m supposed to take these with food. Yum.

Someone just shoot me. :ugh:

So, if you don’t see me hanging out on my weekend, please understand. I either 1) don’t feel well, or 2) don’t want to infect anyone else with this. This sucks. So, yeah, please understand.

As a forewarning, tho, I am travelling to Texarkana for my xmas holiday trip this wednesday. I will work half a day and leave that afternoon. I have scheduled the friday after xmas off so that I can have a nice 4-day trip. I will be leaving for Austin on sunday.

You have been forewarned. That is all.

Yesterday was fine, I suppose. The entire UT area was crampacked with people; lots of stuff going on. There was the UT game (which I guess they won :shrugs:). Mojo’s had a shindig in the back lot of the shop featuring ramps, bikes, and live bands. Parking was an absolute bitch — days like this are tow truck drivers’ wet dreams. I was lucky enough to get to Mojo’s early enough to find a parking spot before they set up the stage and the bike area.

I found some friends and joined them; we were kind of spitting about the early crowd, and opted to go get breakfast. By the time we came back, my car was firmly blocked-in, and I had little choice but to stay at Mojo’s. It’s not a bad thing, I just couldn’t leave with my car if I wanted, so I stayed and wrote code.

I don’t know if it was the breakfast I had (grilled chicken barbecue burritos), or if it was the crowds, or the “music”, or the weather, or whatever, but after a few hours I got antsy, tired, and poor of constitution. My stomach started bothering me. After a poorly-chosen beer, I started getting a dehydration headache which lasted until the end of the day. I went home, chatted online, and went to bed.

This morning I woke up rested, but no sooner did I move my head to get up the headache reminded me that it was still there. Christ. So I got up, tooled around, took some tylenol, made some gatorade and took a shower. I’ve had nothing but decaffeinated water-based drinks all day, and even after eating something I still have the headache. Think maybe it’s a dehydration/decaffeination headache? Or maybe allergies? Or maybe too much nicotine? I really don’t know.

Until it goes away, I guess I’ll just keep relying on tylenol, hibiscus tea, sunglasses, breezy rooms, and ginger altoids.

With all that being said, I’m starting to feel restless and bored. Getting to a point where the stuff I have available for me to do I just don’t want to do. Y’know? The French call it “Ennui”. God, me saying that sounds so cheesy. Feh. But that’s how I feel. I want to get out to different places more, but it takes energy and wherewithall to do that. And given my current ill feeling, that just ain’t going to happen.

Ok. So in my last entry I raved about how well the weekend was going, how the weekend was just beginning, how I for once was going to have a kick-ass weekend, etc., etc. Yeah, yeah, whatever. Believe me, the Fates are so fuckin’ mean. MEAN!

Below is my fancy, high-tech Powerpoint illustration of my weekend. The curve, in blue, denotes the “suckitude” of the weekend with the vertical axis inverted such that low values represent the most “suckitude.” The horizontal axis represents forward time. The red boxes represent key points on the path of time.

So. Friday night was good, definitely. Saturday afternoon and early evening, when I was still going on the buzz of friday night, were good as well. Got to chill out, listen to more Harley’s cruising by, guzzle iced tea, and just hang-out in general. Had the chance to go see King’s X at the Back Room that night, but for some reason (which still escapes me) I opted out; decided to hang out some more, see who showed up. Anyway, somehow I think this is the part where the Freewillers and the Predestined’s will part ways, if you’ll pardon the pun.

There I am, it’s around 1am or so, and I get hungry. I go out and get a sausage-and-egg breakfast taco, with salsa. Chowed down on it and felt good. Went back to Mojo’s and hung out some more. Chatted with my friend Ernie about things computers and things Dell, which is a joy; been years since I could sit and talk geek for hours and suffer no social consequences. Around 4 or 5am I was feeling a little “gassy”, so home was the best choice.

About 15 minutes after I went to bed, my bowels clenched, my stomach ground, and I got that sudden, anxious feeling that’s usually immediately followed by the words, “Uh-oh.” (You know that feeling.) I grabbed the trashcan, bolted to the bathroom, and sat there for over an hour in three different sessions. No hurling, luckily, but the hair-trigger was really tickling. It was a close call, but thankfully it was all coming out of the other end, which is my preference (I’m wierd with throwing-up). So, if you’ll forgive me for the lurid details, let us continue.

Sunday, oh Sunday. After 6 dreamless hours of sleep, with me on my side on the side of the bed and the trashcan beneath me, I got up around 1pm. Wasn’t feeling all too sparkly, so I moped around. Waited on a phone call from Bart – we had planned to go out to pick up a new motherboard to replace his which fried a month ago. He called, learned that I was ill, and called it off. I tried to venture out of the house but realized really quickly that: heat + nausea = hell. Went back home with a quickness, undressed to my essentials, and moped around the house for the rest of the day, trashcan at the ready.

A bright spot, though. I did do something productive. My friend [Danielle] had called for volunteers to offer server space so she could have comment capabilities on her blog. I stepped forward last week, and we finally got it installed and set up yesterday. She was much appreciative; I’m glad I got to help (damn shame she lives in Canada).

The rest of the day, though, sucked. Watched some pre-taped TV from years ago and went to bed around 2am. Got up this morning at 8, still feeling like hell, took a shower, and slogged to work. I then realized that after not eating a single thing yesterday I was in no shape, and had no strength, to be working around machinery. Add to that the stomach spasms and twinges, and yeah, I headed home after just over an hour of work.

Which worked-out, actually. Finally got a call from a Dell service tech. Told him to meet me at my apartment instead of my job. After about half an hour of work, the hinges and plastics on my laptop’s screen are made whole again. Yay! No more cracks, no more wobbling, no more “close it carefully, carefully!” A bright point, definitely. And under warranty, too!

So, now, I think I need to eat a little bit of something bland, have some more ginger ale, and possibly see about seeing my doctor. Low-level nausea for over two weeks might mean something important. You’d think, right?

You know, I’m thinking that if I had gone to the King’s X show instead of hanging out at Mojo’s all night, none of this would’ve happened, and this journal entry would’ve been done later this evening and filled with a report of good news and glad tidings. So let this be a lesson to you, children. Don’t exercise your free will. Go do what you were predestined, and nothing like this would happen. Um, yeah.

Anyway. Coulda, Woulda, Shoulda. :sighs: Best of health to you guys. Later.

Sitting at home at midnight on a Friday night because of a stomach that doesn’t know if it’s sick, nauseous, or plain ol’ upset really, really sucks. I should be out there somewhere, not sitting at my desk at home.

I was doing great all day, and then when I went out to dinner after work it all went downhill from there. Almost had the “stomach squeeze” right there while I was eating. Had to abbreviate my meal. So much for going home, cleaning up, and heading out as soon as I had planned. Hung around the house until 10, then headed out, but once I got settled in at Mojo’s and got to working on the laptop, the sqeeze hit again. Now, four miles away and after a trip to Randall’s for Emetrol, antacids, ginger ale and some ground ginger, I’m at home sitting in my boxers under the coolness of my A/C.

And now, even though I’m no longer sweating bawls, my stomach’s still edgy. And I’m snoozy, to boot. I know my roomate was complaining last night of some stomach twinges, but I guessed it was one of those “bugs” that always float around. I was wondering what it was that we’ve shared in the last week; wasn’t food, dishes, utensils, toothbrushes, barfbags, nothing. Couldn’t think of anything until I remembered, “Aw, shit — we’ve both used the phone!” Shit. Ah well. Wouldn’t be the first time I’ve caught something from a fuckin’ phone.

Yep, this is shaping up to be one letdown of a weekend.