Part of a series of posts from my old website archives. Enjoy!
10:23 AM 3/2/00:
Fool. At TIMES, I feel useless. POWERLESS. Yes, I think that’s a BETTER word for it.
Lately, I’ve faced a RASH of situations in which I could do nothing; I was POWERLESS to speak up, to demand my share of LUCK, to say something. When something happens in someone ELSE’S life, something that’s completely UNRELATED to me, and somehow it directly affects me and I have no CONTROL over it, I have no reaction but to get sorely PISSED off! I’ve had little more than those situations this week, and this is ENOUGH! I’ll have NO more of it!
And the universe GIGGLED.
I can’t HELP complaining; it’s in my NATURE to bitch, but completely out of my ELEMENT to break down and raise HELL about something that pisses me off. I can’t do THAT. It’s against my very fiber – raising myself UP to be mute, silent, SAFE; that instinct I’ve developed over the YEARS that’s helped me to SURVIVE this stupid world of OURS. I can scowl, bitch, moan and GROAN, but I can’t bother MYSELF to bring my liberties to BEAR. No. Can’t happen.
PISSED off, pissed ON.
• • •
Enough AMBIGUITY and ranting about things by HINTING at them….
This week, I’ve had the PLEASURE of meeting somebody (HI there!). She’s a very SWEET girl, and she’s been very kind and FRIENDLY to me, and I’m glad she came into MY life. We’ve known each OTHER for around a week, and at THIS time, I think she may become a good GAL-pal of mine.
I think my biggest PROBLEM with meeting other people, NEW people on top of that, is that I never BOTHERED to go outside of my own chosen GROUP of friends to intermingle with other PEOPLE. Last week, I was doing my usual long-VISIT to my friends at Moderne PRIMITIVES, just hanging out. I was OUTSIDE smoking when this certain GIRL and i started talking and whatnot. She asked for my [EMAIL] address, which I gave her, and she gave me HERS, and that next day, I wrote, and she REPLIED (funny when that happens). We called and talked to each OTHER for a while until I had to GO to work, and we’ve had an ongoing DIALOG since then.
I meet some of the best PEOPLE that way. It’s happened several times BEFORE.
SO. This is my challenge to YOU. Say “HI” to someone you would otherwise not GIVE a fuck about. Connect WITH somebody for however brief an instant. If it means talking the USUAL superficial weather bullshit, so BE it. A tip: aren’t you at all CURIOUS how they eat their breakfast? At the table, or ON the go?
Even a brief INTERLUDE with someone else who’s STUCK on the same planet that you ARE will give you enough basis to MEASURE yourself with. Try it, eh?