Hott Chats

Believe it or not, I used to be an IRC junky. Although that habit has been largely supplanted by Facebook, I still have fond memories of my time on IRC. These are some of them. It’s useful to note that in the chats below, the usernames “teh-borg” and “botsaq” belong to chatbots; botsaq being the most hilarious and relevant of the pair. [See more botsaq chats] Enjoy!

<@deltron> it’s so cold that my nuts have gone on full retreat
<@qoncept> i will save them
<@deltron> okey

16:34 <@Phrang> whut
16:34 <@kut> please talk properly, Phrangalang
16:36 <@Phrang> whut
16:36 <@kut> FINE
16:37 <@kut> no candy for you
16:37 <@Phrang> i didn’t ask for candy
16:37 <@kut> cause i didn’t offer
16:38 <@Phrang> which means you can’t take it back
16:42 <@kut> i was gonna offer
16:42 <@kut> but not now
16:42 <@Phrang> but since you didn’t offer anything, you can’t take anything back. which means i still have it.
16:43 <@kut> what
16:43 <@kut> what do you have?
16:43 <@kut> NOT CANDY
16:43 <@Phrang> nothing. and I have all of it.
16:43 <@kut> sometimes i hate you

<@fifty> what is love?
<@tesko> baby dont hurt me

08:27 <@redukt> i had mcdonalds for breakfast and it left a hole in my soul
08:40 <@tesko> what did you have at mcdonalds redukt ?
08:49 <@Phrang> portion-packaged poop, produced at a production plant in pennsylvania, prepared by pimply-puckered puntas in polyester pants.

<@kut> alcohol is bad for my legs
<@kut> they spread

22:21 <@redukt> The government today announced that it is changing its emblem from an Eagle to a CONDOM because it more accurately reflects the government’s political stance. A condom allows for inflation, halts production, destroys the next generation, protects a bunch of pricks, and gives you a sense of security while you’re actually being screwed.

23:39 <@kut> oh you nasty
23:40 <@junkaho> in fact i’m not
23:40 <@junkaho> my sweat simply doesn’t start to smell before it has fermented in an armpit over some time
23:41 <@junkaho> you could drink the stuff
23:41 <@botsaq> im trying to get a citrussy summer drink coffee..
23:41 <@Phrang> hahaaaaaaahaha botsaq
23:41 <@junkaho> lol
23:41 <@botsaq> lol
23:41 <@kut> ahahahahahah

13:10 <@deltron> cowsay: Could not find luke-coala cowfile!
 13:10 <@deltron> as;fjlas;lfj
 13:11 <@deltron>  ______________
 13:11 <@deltron> < what you say >
 13:11 <@deltron>  --------------
 13:11 <@deltron>   \
 13:11 <@deltron>    \          .
 13:11 <@deltron>        ___   //
 13:11 <@deltron>      {~._.~}//
 13:11 <@deltron>       ( Y )K/
 13:11 <@deltron>      ()~*~()
 13:11 <@deltron>      (_)-(_)
 13:11 <@deltron>      Luke
 13:11 <@deltron>      Skywalker
 13:11 <@deltron>      koala
 13:11 <@deltron> wtb pix

04:02 -!- Znarl_ has joined #electronic-mp3
04:02 <@teh-borg> no say no znarl with your collection servers

11:46 <@teh-borg> pottsq is here
11:48 <@chivo> thanks for the heads up teh-borg
11:48 <@teh-borg> choose the heads

22:39 -!- texdork has joined #electronic-mp3
22:39 <@teh-borg> texdork is http://www.sensibleerection.com

20:51 <@Phrang> i want to figure out how to play text adventures using sound only. like, have the text read out and have a speech recognizer take commands.
20:51 <@Phrang> it would make long drives so much easier.
20:53 <@Phrang> You are in a barren room. The only notable features are fingernail marks on the flaking paint, a loose brick, and the 15-ton tractor-trailer coming up behind you to the left. Exits are W, S, 153b.

<@chivo> teh-borg is too used to canadians
<@teh-borg> idiotic canadians on an erection and i recommend with a fag side party smooth
<@chivo> i rest my case

22:36  * Phrang tries to coax a DrRabbit out from its silverbox, then jumps up on a cablerock, growls and Znarls menacingly, bearing his Phrangs, before Grooblleing down on the poor DrRabbit. In celebration of the kill, he kuts a few shrubZ and builds a fire in the temple of syrinx.
22:36 <@kut> HAY
22:43 <@Znarl> hey
22:48 <@silverbox> whoia
22:51 <@shrubZ> Oo
22:51 <@shrubZ> WOW!
22:51 <@shrubZ> That was neat
22:51  * shrubZ claps for the mighty Phrang

16:39 <@squipple> I likem shoesazey
16:39 <@squipple> gazey
16:39 <@squipple> I like gaze
16:39 <@squipple> I’m gay.
16:39 <@squipple> wow, that progressed horribly
16:40 <@tesko> yes it did
16:41 <@kut> i think it went well!
16:41 <@kut> i’m GLAAD you’re out

12:42 <@chivo> hi thar
12:45 <@zoa> hi
12:46 <@chivo> sup futar network oper?
12:47 <@zoa> not much! learnin ’bout topologies
12:48  * chivo want to see zoa’s topologies pls
12:48 <@zoa> not without a token ring!
12:49 <@chivo> oh snap
12:49 <@chivo> i just gave it to _aa_
12:49 <@chivo> should be getting it back soon
12:49 <@chivo> besides, token rings are for old fashioned nets
12:50 <@chivo> ur not old fashioned r u?
12:50 <@zoa> no
12:51 <@chivo> k, i want to find cheapest route to ur gateway
12:51 <@zoa> haha
12:52 <@zoa> more GB and GHz
12:52 <@chivo> not the big, fat pipe i have?
12:52 <@chivo> or the one i can lay
12:53 <@zoa> you have to pack my box with more GB
12:53 <@chivo> hm, ya.  if you can’t take the entire pipe, i’ll throttle the speeds
12:53 <@chivo> until you upgrade
12:54 <@zoa> lol
12:54 <@chivo> or just get to it being full
12:55 <@chivo> get used to it being full
12:55 <@chivo> routing packets leads to more irq’s from brain to hands
12:55 <@botsaq> but doing routing everything change

19:16 <@stash> Phrang: “text” needs to be some minimum 14chars i think
19:16 <@Phrang> DCC SEND “ohiwhatisupasdf” 0 0 0
19:16 -!- DRWOLFER has quit [Read error: Connection reset by peer]
19:16 <@Phrang> tee-hee!

20:22 <@redukt> [21:23] <redukt> tcl heron
20:22 <@redukt> [21:23] <Shaniqua>     __    ___         i am a heron. i ahev a long neck and i pick
20:22 <@redukt> [21:23] <Shaniqua>    /..\ /| |'-.    /  fish out of the water w/ my beak. if you dont
20:23 <@redukt> [21:23] <Shaniqua>   .\_O/ || |   |      repost this comment on 10 other pages i will
20:23 <@redukt> [21:23] <Shaniqua>  /  `._ \|_|_.-'      fly into your kitchen tonight and make a mess
20:23 <@redukt> [21:23] <Shaniqua> /  \__.`=._) (_       of your pots and pans
20:23 <@redukt> [21:23] <redukt> tcl wale
20:24 <@redukt> [21:23] <Shaniqua> i am a humpback wale. i live in the ocean.         __    ___
20:24 <@redukt> [21:23] <Shaniqua> if you dont repost this comment to 10 other \     /..\ /| |'-.
20:24 <@redukt> [21:23] <Shaniqua> people on you tube, i'm going to dive in to      .\_O/ || |   |
20:24 <@redukt> [21:23] <Shaniqua> your pool and displace all of the water         /  `._ \|_|_.-'
20:25 <@redukt> [21:23] <Shaniqua>                                                /  \__.`=._) (_
20:27 <@Phrang> I am Microsoft Word. I have a long WYSIWYG interface that causes people to pay more
attention to layout and format than content. If you don't repost this comment to at least
10 people on your Microsoft Office Communicator contacts list, I will slink into your
Sharepoint folder tonight and make a mess of your quarterly reports.
20:27 <@redukt> ok stealin
20:27 <@Phrang> noway dude, i wrote that.
20:27 <@Phrang> now REPOST IT

<@_aa_> threesomes are best with even numbers
<@qoncep1> yes. so bring another person
<@qoncep1> a threesome of 4 is just right
<@_aa_> two threesomes.. or the aptly named sexsome, is the best situation

03:58  * Znarl sing softly to Goobens
04:00 <@Goobens> IM ALL EARS
04:13 <@Znarl> That must make buying head wear rather troublesome.

21:22 <@redukt> i have this really cool cousin
21:22 <@redukt> who’s really hot
21:22 <@redukt> is it wrong that i would have sex with her?
21:22 <@_aa_> no, but it would be wrong if you did

<@pumiliocu> Win•dows: n. A thirty-two bit extension and graphical shell to a sixteen-bit patch to an eight-bit operating system originally coded for a four-bit microprocessor which was written by a two-bit company that can’t stand one bit of competition.

12:12 <@_aa_> it also get’s very confused on the grating and gets stuck
12:13 <@Phrang> lol personification
12:13 <@Phrang> get’s = get is
12:14 <@_aa_> thanks grammer interpol
12:15 <@Phrang> APOSTROSTAPO!
12:15 <@_aa_> ooh good word
12:15 <@Phrang> ^_^
12:15 <@syrinx53> that is awesome
12:15 <@Phrang> wow, that *is* a good word
12:15  * Phrang wipes a tear from his eye
12:15  * syrinx53 adds to lexicon

11:07 <@Phrang> Bb  ->  B======D
11:07 <@microghet> nice phrangwang
11:07 <@spee> wheee
11:07 <@microghet> speewhee @ phrangwang
11:07 <@spee> it’s 9am and wake and bake has done its job
11:07 <@microghet> morningwood

_aa_ types 600wpm on his treo and watches mentally challenged art student fumble with iPhone for 6 hours trying to txt his yoga instructor to say he’s going to mis class to goto a coldplay concert

<@spee> in the past i have had women yelling at me over this story and that “oh god you didn’t tell me it had the cock in it!” and i’m like “but you just said 3 days ago through a mouthful of cock that you love the cock!”

14:14 <@tesko> the bartendress at the strip club i went to said the champaign room cost $100 for 15 minutes
14:14 <@tesko> i immediately said “i can’t last 15 minutes”

06:48 <@Znarl> Funster!  And a good afternoon sir!
06:51 < funkaho> thank you
06:51 < funkaho> i suppose it will be once my coffee is finished
06:52 < funkaho> i have to start sleeping at home again
06:52 < funkaho> livin la vida sofa at the radio is killing me neck
06:58 < funkaho> fuck me diagonally
06:59 < funkaho> we’re out of coffee
07:09 < funkaho> hmmmm i found some instant “coffee”
07:09 < funkaho> at least there’s caffeine in it
07:38 <@Znarl> Don’t do it, instant makes baby jesus cry.
07:39 < funkaho> sorry jesus
07:39 <@Znarl> Oh dear, I was too late.

15:18 <@Dookee> somebody uploaded Koyaanisqatsi in it’s entirety to Google videos.. what .. the .. fuck
15:18 <@Dookee> way to take an awesome movie and make it completely unbearable with your horrible low resolution
15:19 <@Dookee> why the fuck would anyone think that was a good idea
15:21 <@Phrang> information wants to be free.
15:22 <@Dookee> lawl

12:06 <@funkaho> i like eating pussy
12:07 <@funkaho> as long as it’s fresh from the shower and yeast free, that is
12:20  * Znarl gives funkaho some chinese food

11:31 <@tesko> What goes on in a girl’s mind when she sucks dick? Any turn on at all? I figure it is like when a guy eats a girl out. Often he’s just doing it to get to the sex that comes later.
11:34 <@pumiliocu> ask jeeves

20:33  * Phrang drowns out the sound of white people yammering on about cosmic connections, metaphysics, string theory, vibrations within vibrations, there’s no finite, we are all infinite, everything is infinite, ad nauseum.
20:34 <@Phrang> the only kind of cosmic connection i give a damn about is stuffing my crystal into their mouth.
20:36 <@Phrang> the older i get, the more i realize how much i hate my own race.
20:37  * shrub claps for Phrang
20:37 <@shrub> Beautiful speech.. brings a tear to ones eye

12:14 < LinearB> Where are the best places to advertise for an IT manager nowdays?
12:14 <@amatus> india?

21:29 <@rob> the trolls that are in #flirts are internet trolls.  stacy“ is the kind of troll that lives in the ground and under bridges and asks tolls of people passing over her
21:30 <@Phrang> oh, i’ve heard of that profession.

11:17 <@Technogen> Well I’m a nub ok, I installed ubuntu 8.1 on my old system, I use to have another system that had 7.1 on it. On the old system I had a program that would rip internet radio streams in to MP3 files on the HD, but I cant figure out what program it was :/
11:22 <@TRONKY> streamtuner can do that
11:23 <@TRONKY> also streamripper with rythmbox
11:23 <@Technogen> ok I have rythmbox installed, I’ll look up steamripper
11:23 <@TRONKY> http://lifehacker.com/software/linux-tip/record-streaming-radio-with-streamripper-and-streamtuner-263493.php
11:23 <@TRONKY> instructions there
11:23 <@botsaq> mafiaa will be sending the instructions
11:23 <@Technogen> thanks

<@Ober> my school record had more C’s than a spanish couple hitting simultaneous orgasm.

<@Rab> Cavorite, suggestions on program to rip a Quicktime stream?
<@jgoddess> a mac

18:12 <@redukt> AS TEH MEMBER OF TEH HIGHER COMUNNITY I EXPRESS MYSELF WITH LOLE~~ AND LAFFLE~~!!!! I HAEV VORGOT HOW 2 WALK AND TEH SPEAK!!!!! AND I MA ROLLIN ON TEH FUCKIN LAFF TOWARDS TEH AIR LOLELING~~~~~~~~~~~~~?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!!! DICKS/!!!!!!!! WHERE????????????!!!!!! LAFFLE********~~~

21:26 <@D_WOLFER> im playin darts
21:26 <@D_WOLFER> ur ass is the board
21:28 <@Phrang> am I winning?

5/2/14:
12:48 <@mstar> Rab: I’m getting sent to New Zealand for work, any pro-tips?
13:09 < epsas> mstar – be sure not to just simply walk into Mordor