(Phaysis)

I must admit, not necessarily verbally, but to my own self, that being not alone requires an expectation of chaos and surprise. My partner will make decisions on their own, just as I would. I must elevate myself above the simplicity of living for my own self and be ready to respond to novelty, trouble, and surprise without losing track of my own goals. I must adapt, adjust, acknowledge change, and seek out novel ways to fix the things that break and work out agreements to overcome potential troubles down the road.

The idealist’s view is that “coupling” is the continual act of hitching two horses together; if the wagon is to go anywhere, it requires the horses to act in some semblance of a unit. Each horse cannot act alone of its own free will without diminishing the momentum and direction of the whole. You and I know that this image is too simple and far from the truth. In reality, a couple is more like a pair of first-graders tied together with a bungee cord and sent into the big kids’ playground. First, there’s strain, there’s struggle, there’s compromise, then finally there’s planning and partnership. Both partners must be willing to commit to it to attain the greater rewards.

Talking is necessary. Without talking, there is only uncertainty, fear, and failure. The most successful of animals chatter a lot. It’s not something I do very well, but with practice I could get better. Being a deaf-mute dreamer means I won’t be troubled with the relationship for long. I cannot afford that.

Most people have learned these lessons in their youth. I, for some reason, must keep relearning them. Bear with me.

I’ve avoided putting out any sort of statement regarding my political ideologies because, frankly, I don’t want to defend them. In my mother’s household, any form of arguing was punishable, so I never developed the innate desire to defend or attack. But I’m a grown man now, and quite honestly, I think I’ve learned the difference between debate, arguing, and fighting. This isn’t any of those; it’s just a confession. If you agree with them, then great, you’re my echo chamber. If you disagree with them, then great, you have an opinion of your own. It’s a big world, and it takes all kinds.

With that in mind, here are some thoughts on where I stand. Continue reading

Who’s the sad sack sitting in front of his laptop at the coffeeshop? That’s right.

I shouldn’t complain, though. At least I’m not sitting in front of my computer at home.

2011 was supposed to be better than 2010. It wasn’t.

2010 was supposed to be better than 2009. It wasn’t.

2009 was supposed to be better than 2008. It wasn’t.

Ad infinitum.

The problem with the “growth” thinking of “we must get better and better” is that it blindly ignores the fact that over a span of time, the good and bad stuff averages out to a flat gray. If you take any negative moment and view that as the death of all that is good in the world, then you’re setting yourself up for disappointment. Bad stuff happens. Good stuff happens. That’s life.

My hope for 2012 is that I learn to accept the average, that I get comfortable with the baseline, and that I pick up the slack and do something that’s worth it. Cheers.

1. The Internet is the worst place to go if you have something to say.
2. Activity is not motion, but motion is an activity.
3. Don’t bring signs to a battle of words. They are inflexible and can be used against you.
4. If you’re fighting on two fronts, you’ll have to watch your own back.
5. Keep off the grass, especially when requested. When asked twice, doubly so.
6. Just because you’re seated does not mean you are immobile.
7. Educate yourself about the enemy, but resist the urge to use that knowledge to become the enemy once he is vanquished.

I’ve been thinking. If the federal government were to ever legalize marijuana, that would open the market for legal farming. It would be another cash crop farmers could consider to sustain their livelihood. Moral and legal entanglements aside, there’s a major caveat to this.

Once it’s legal and proven profitable on the market, and once boards of directors can convince their shareholders that it’s a good crop to get into, Monsanto, Cargill, and ADM will effectively take over and sue into contractual submission any farmer who doesn’t grow their patented genetically-modified seeds, just as they currently do with soy, corn, cotton, and wheat. Any independent farmer running a grow-op with heritage seeds will have a planeload of relentless, deeply-pocketed lawyers at their door to coerce them into destroying their crops because the company’s GMO seeds are somehow mysteriously growing on their land without permission.

It’s inevitable. You know this to be true. Where there is money to be made, there will be multinationals there to consume it, no matter who suffers.

Next you know, the nation is smoking Roundup-Ready weed stock, but everybody will be too stoned to care.